


The Dark in You

by Madame_Klancealot



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Amnesia, Angst and Feels, Bisexual Lance (Voltron), Canon Compliant, Drama & Romance, Hurt Lance (Voltron), Keith (Voltron) is Bad at Feelings, Keith/Lance (Voltron) Angst, Lance (Voltron) Angst, Lance (Voltron) is a Mess, Lance (Voltron)-centric, Langst, M/M, Pining Keith (Voltron), Pining Lance (Voltron), Post S8, Post-Canon
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-12-03
Updated: 2020-07-12
Packaged: 2021-02-18 14:03:42
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 12
Words: 27,492
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21661975
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Madame_Klancealot/pseuds/Madame_Klancealot
Summary: Lance wakes up one morning with a weird feeling in his gut, almost like something has shifted around him. When he goes to check on Keith after their uncomfortable talk the night before, Keith opens the door not recognizing Lance as his Lance, as the blue paladin. Just the Lance he knew from the Garrison.It's like Lance's been erased from his memory, but not entirely.Do the others remember who he is, though?
Relationships: Keith & Lance (Voltron), Keith/Lance (Voltron)
Comments: 109
Kudos: 351





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hello, I am trying something out. 
> 
> I've been wanting desperately to write this fic for a long, long time, but I haven't found the motivation or the will to sit my ass down and just write it already. 
> 
> For about a month ago I speed wrote 3 chapters. I'm going to put up the first chapter, and see what the response is like and hope to dear God that it's received well and that that will spark my fingers to keep on writing the story. Because as of this moment, writing is proving itself so stubborn and difficult, and I want - need - this story out of my head. 
> 
> Hope you enjoy this first chapter and do lemme know if you want the second and third one too since they're pre-written. :)

When Lance woke up that morning, he knew something was off. 

He groaned sleepily when the sun shined its bright rays on him through the window, contemplating whether or not if he should sleep in or get out of bed. 

He went for the latter. A heavy, quite satisfied sigh arched out of his throat when he made a nice stretch with his body, opening the covers and wiping the sleep lazily from his eyes. 

Landing his toes on the floor, he furrowed his brows hard.

Something was still off. Like the sinking feeling you get before everything goes sideways. That sinking feeling, he had it. There had to be at least a truckload of rocks rolling around in his gut, because he found it impossible to take that first step of out his comfy bed. 

Was it the weather? Determined in his sleepy state, he took a weighted step out of his bed, tying his blue robe belt around his waist tightly. His fingers snapped down some of the blinds that masked the sun’s shine, peering out of his apartment complex in the Garrison. 

Nothing but blue skies reaching as far out as his blue eyes could see. Yet still, the rocks grew heavier. Rocks aside, he made his way into his kitchen, turning on a pot of hot coffee and finding some toast. Could it have been someone’s birthday today and he managed to forget whose it was? 

The calendar, he lingered a fazed glare at the wall, seemed like it had no bright blue rings around the squares. Lance pursed his lips to the side, thinking. So, no one’s birthday. He grimaced this time, humming about still wondering what the rocks in his stomach were trying to tell him. 

He found a clean mug to pour the fresh hot coffee into, burning his tongue on the scorching bitter liquid. “Aww, come on…” He complained begrudgingly to no one, giving his mug a set of angry eyes.

“I don’t need another bad day..” He muttered lamely under his breath, looking out of the long, thin kitchen window this time, thinking back to the night before. 

He never meant to go that far last night. It was one date. One date that wasn’t supposed to lead up to him professing his love. Explaining how he had always been in love but was a huge coward and never dared take that one extra step to get there.

And yet. He went that far. The date hadn’t gone further than to eating dinner before he shot out like loose cannon, spilling out all of the bottled up feelings he had been holding in for the past three years. From when the war was over and he had finally understood what he had lost. Without ever having it in the first place. 

Lance sighed half-heartedly, feeling beat.

His apartment was quiet. Dead quiet. Only sound he could hear sifting through the air around him was the coffee maker gurgling, the washing machine tumbling about with his dirty laundry. 

Should he at least explain himself to him? It’s just a knock on the door, see if anyone’s home, and if no one’s home he could try again later. They didn’t work in the same division. Not anymore. 

After the war, Lance stayed at the Garrison. Became a teacher, or as they’re called at the Garrison: an Officer. Like Adam was, as Shiro explained. Shiro could have become a teacher too, but he enjoyed exploring more than grounding himself to one place. So he continued as captain of Atlas, traveling in space when needed, together with his brother. 

With Keith. 

Lance’s heart started thumping a littler harder than usual at the thought of Keith. He couldn’t help it. Keith and him. Man, they were neck and neck. Always were, always will be. Well, maybe not from today that is.

“Dammit.” Lance took another sip of his coffee. “Mother of-” He stuck his tongue out to air away the burn he inflicted for an unlucky second time. 

Still airing his hurt tongue tip, his communicator beeped frantically. Pidge’s face popped up on the screen. “Yeah?” Lance said through a burnt tongue.

“Oh, uhm, is this Lance?” Pidge’s voice seemed awkward, Lance thought.

He furrowed his brows, hard, staring into his communicator trying to grab Pidge’s birdy eyes, “Pidge, you know it’s me…” 

Pidge’s voice went stale, quiet. “I’m sorry. But you are Lance McClain, aren’t you?” 

What the? Pidge was one of Lance’s closest friends, they’ve known each other even before their time up in space. They’ve been colleagues here at the Garrison for over three years. How come she was talking like they barely knew each other? 

“Pidge?” Lance tried for her. 

Speaking of the air around him, all he could hear was the static from his communicator. Waiting. “If you could just confirm that you are-”

“I  _ am _ Lance McClain- Teacher, one of the commanding Officers of the Garrison, in the division of Aerospace technology and flight.” He confirmed, scratching his head a couple times while staring down Pidge’s odd expression on his communicator. 

“All I was asking for.” Pidge’s face softened, “Captain Shirogane is asking for your assistance, says he needs advice on the matter of one of your students. He said to meet in his office at 0900 hours.”

Lance made a face, angling his head in confuddlement by the way Pidge, his friend, best friend some would say, was speaking to him. He clamped his teeth together once, dragging a short grind with them, “Yeah, sure..I have time to meet with him. Give him my confirmation.” 

“Splendid. I’ll make sure he gets the notice. Bye-”

“No wait, Pidge!” Lance called out, but she hung up in the nick of time. 

Falling flat, and shaking away the awkward conversation with Pidge, Lance trudged his sleeping state back into his room to put on his Garrison uniform. A military green jacket and trousers, lined with an orange color on the sleeves and his pins and badges stapled on the front of his jacket from saving the world after their war with Honerva. 

He never really was the same after the war. The only form of wakefulness and stability, he found in his friends. In Keith, most of all. Contemplation overcame Lance, curling his hand into a tight fist, “Damn, I should go see him..” 

Last night had not gone as planned. But, he still had to face the consequences whether he liked them or not. It was the adult thing to do. He pulled a new face, catching his reflection in the mirror. 

It had only gone three years since his paladin days. He wasn’t any older than 21, but his experiences in space and flying Blue and Red, they made him qualified enough to already embark on his new life as a teacher. 

In the reflection, he looked tired. Bags sagging under his eyes from loss of sleep --that was yesterday’s fault-- the blue in his eyes growing murky. His hair was getting longer, almost like a mullet. He dragged a corner of his lip at the thought, tousling his brown hair till it looked somewhat presentable for his meeting with Shiro. 

Once his hair was tousled and swirling nicely around his face, he caught a faded, jagged line across his eye. The scar. It was given to him during the war. He had been flung out of Red to save his friends. To get Keith back in the Black lion before it was all too late. Honerva had shot an electric bolt through all of the lions, but only Red and Black had taken the hit more forceful than the others, causing Keith to shoot out and fall to the desert ground. 

Fright had taken over all of Lance’s body, but he couldn’t handle the thought of losing Keith and set forth to save him. It almost costed him losing his left eye, but all he wounded up with was a nasty scar. Almost matching the stubborn Red paladin’s scar. 

Dressed to impress, Lance took one last gulp of his coffee, allowing the bitter taste hit the backside of his tongue. He took a reassuring deep inhale, trying to calm the jumpy beating of his heart. Still in limbo from last night, all Lance was, was nothing but jumpy. Still, facing Keith was all there was to it. No use avoiding him. He’d find Lance if he wanted to. 

He opened his door. 


	2. Chapter 2

Standing outside Keith’s door had Lance dumbfounded. Maybe he was asleep, and shouldn’t disturb the little sleep Keith usually got. Being on missions 80% of the time really did create a rickety sleep schedule. Especially when leading a special ops teams made out solely of beefy, cut-throat Galra Blades. Sleep was something of a luxury to Keith now. 

Lance held his hand balled against the door. Wondering if he should knock it, or, if it would be better to send him a text that he was standing outside and wanted to talk. 

He knocked, biting the soft skin inside his cheek and squeezing his eyes shut to wait on the boy he confessed to the night before. But nothing was happening. Lance grew restless, biting his cheek harder when he knocked on the door for a second time, doing a double knock. 

Still nothing. “Keith?” He yelled with a whispery voice. 

Keith lived in the complex next to Lance’s, but there were still five other doors in the corridor all with other people or families living in them. He didn’t want to wake them up, it was still pretty early. 

Taking in the empty corridor, Lance planted his head against Keith’s door, listening in for any movement. Music. He could hear music, and it was blasting from the other side. No wonder he couldn’t hear Lance. 

With that, Lance rapped on the door continuously with a feisty fist until it finally slid open to reveal a very hot-headed mullet. “What!?” Keith growled. 

His hair was sticking everywhere. Strands in pitch black looking unkempt. His long cowlick curling like crazy along the nape of his neck, and his thick bangs sticking up. “Can I help you?” 

Lance looked down, gulping. Keith was shirtless, only wearing a pair of black sweats, his feet sockless, catching all of his toes doing a wiggle. He made a new gulp, the roughness of his burnt tongue all he could register while the saliva he tried to swallow had difficulty sliding past the lump in his throat. 

“He..ey…” Lance greeted carefully. 

Keith stared him down. One thick eyebrow arched studiously, his eyes sizing him up while they ran up and down Lance’s figure. Eyes darker than space itself, but with a crashing indigo nebula ringing around them, Lance had always thought about the color of Keith’s eyes. Like how he would always get lost in them, even now while Keith was staring at him like some kind of stranger. 

“Officer McClain? What are- can I help you with anything? Did my brother send you with any information regarding anything?” Once Keith finally gathered who was standing in front of him, he simultaneously began to smooth his hair and looked behind him to fetch a red t-shirt to sling over his muscular body. 

“Keith? What’s with the formality? We know each other.” Lance said dejected, holding his hands out as emphasis on them being friends. 

Given from last night, he hoped that they could at least stay friends. 

Keith pursed his lips in thought, judging the words that came out of Lance’s mouth. “Colleagues I can agree on, but friends? I don’t think we’ve ever had a whole conversation before. At least something this casual...Like this? This must be the longest you and I have even spoken with each other…”

“What?” Lance wanted to laugh out loud, but something was wrapped around his esophagus tugging it like some kind of bell, “You mean without us fighting, right? That I can highly agree on.” He started laughing, although without any spirit in it. More like a forced kind of laugh, to ease the tension in this very weird, very fucked-up situation. 

There was no ease in the tension, Keith frowned, shaking his head. He was shielding the inside of his apartment with his arm, leaning it on the doorframe while the door stood barely open. Almost like he was actually treating Lance as a stranger. 

“Trust me, if I had known you better, I wouldn’t be this...guarded.” Keith leered at Lance inquisitively. 

“Keith, stop playing. I have a meeting with Shiro in less than an hour, and I wanted to talk about last night.”

“What about last night? I was with a friend -- not you -- last night.” Keith argued, crossing his arms now.

Lance almost scoffed highly offendedly at that. That was _quite_ offensive in his opinion. He kept the fire in his veins tepid at the moment. Instead, he flared his nostrils, crashing his foot angrily at the floor with a light stomp. “Yeah, I know. I was that friend.” 

“Uh-I don’t think so. I would remember your face.” 

“Would you now?” 

“Hells yeah. I’ve never really given your face any eye-time. I like what I see.” Keith slid his mouth into a pleasing smirk, those nebulas crash landing into Lance. 

What the actual fucking hell. Was Keith making a pass at Lance? Even after the shit-show that went down last night? The nerve. Keith was pushing all that aside to fuck with Lance now by making a pass at him. 

Lance let that fire burst through. “What the hell, Keith!? Stop fucking with me. First you tell me that you don’t feel that way for me, and now you’re standing here making an actual fucking pass?” 

At that, Keith’s whole expression morphed. Morphed into one of astonishment, both brows raised high. His expression tilted into total confusion. “What, no? I-I have no idea what you’re talking about. We’ve barely met before.” Keith enunciated each word towards Lance. Saying them loud and clear as if Lance were incapable of understanding him. 

But Keith kept on studying him, smoothing his angry lips into calm ones, “Like officially.” He deadpanned. 

Officially? That sinking feeling in Lance’s gut began to swim deeper. The rocks multiplying by the second. Was he going to be sick? He needed air. A way out of this drowning hell hole that was happening before him. 

He held two fingers to his throbbing temple, avoiding Keith’s gaze. Those eyes. “I can’t talk to you like this. I get that you’re a mess and all that, but dicking around with me like this. With _your friend_. I-I’ll find you later, when you’re not acting like a fucking child.” 

Lance raged off deep into the corridors, tensing once when he heard Keith slamming his door closed together. Fine. Let him be a dick. He’ll find him once he’s cooled down. Once they both understand that this was a type of conversation that had to be spoken by adults. Not children pulling pranks on one another. 

***

Shiro’s office was located at the very top of Atlas. Lance had to find his access card and pin number to get inside the mechanical being. Once given access, he stepped forth, making his ways through the swivel of corridors and through the sea of Garrison cadets and employees meandering about doing their daily duties. 

Everyone greeted him with a nod, or a ‘good morning Mr. McClain’, even Sam walked passed him but without second notice. Probably busy with something, Lance thought. In the next second he crashed into someone. 

“Sorry. My bad. I wasn’t looking where I was going-oh, Matt, hey. How’s everything going with the new Altean tech and the thingy majig Allura gave you guys?” Lance helped Matt, Pidge’s older brother, up from their sudden bumping meet and greet. 

Matt tied his hair up in a low ponytail. His hair must have loosened from the crash, smiling happily at Lance, “Wow, news spreads really fast around here. Don’t go around telling the other teachers about this. It was told in confidence only between the paladins and my father. And the Galra and Alteans, but-” He held a nervous hand to his neck, his smile turning into something loopy and fussy. 

“In confidence. Matt, we just talked about this a couple days ago. I was in the room when Allura presented the new tech.” Lance pressed on. 

Sinking. Deeper and deeper, these rocks. 

“Right. Maybe I didn’t notice you in there, buddy. I gotta bounce or else my lil sis is gonna freak- she hates it when I’m always late.” Matt bonked his head like a doofus and strolled onwards. To his sister. Who Lance knows, very well. He could have just said Pidge.

Lance bit hard on his lower lip, his heart pumping his blood like crazy, making it go all red hot. In him, something was hallow. But not just inside him, he could sense an irky hallowed awareness inside everyone. 

First Pidge, then Keith and now Matt? 

Hopefully Shiro knew what was going on. Lance had nothing else to bet on. 


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! I'm trying to get a chapter up each week. 
> 
> Just want to note: the next chapter will be up after new years since I'm going on vacation! Hope that's understandable. 
> 
> Please let me know if you like the story so far. I don't know what I have installed for it, as it's written very sporadically, but it's a story I know I want to tell. :)

“Ah, Officer McClain. Thank you for taking your time to visit me.” Shiro was wearing a soft grin, the faded scar running horizontally across his nose, growing more and more faded as the years went on. 

His hair was all white, compared to his earlier all black, then white on a fluffy tuft during their paladin days. But now, he looked all grown up. Barely aged past his thirties, but the whiteness of his hair, and the glasses propped on the bridge of his nose was giving off a different vibe of maturity. 

Lance instantly detected the usage of his name. “It wasn’t any issue...Captain Shirogane.” He wavered carefully on the use of Shiro’s name. 

Shiro bloomed his grin into a white smile. “Please, call me Shiro. Everyone I know here at the Garrison does.” 

“Right. Shiro -- uhm -- what was it you were wondering about? Pidge mentioned an issue with one of the cadets?” Lance hedged, fighting the wobbliness of his legs, keeping his hands linked behind his straight back. 

With his hand, Shiro prompted Lance to take a seat next to him. Once they sat, Shiro landed a heavy hand on Lance’s knee, his face growing stern. “Yes. One of our cadets, a young Ms. Madeline McKinney. She is showing great promise, and I was wondering if you wouldn’t mind coaching her together with my brother.” 

“Brother?” Lance played along with this off day, he knew Shiro wouldn’t know that Lance was well informed on who his brother was. 

“Keith Kogane. I’m sure the two of you have crossed paths before. Although, this is a large settlement, I wouldn’t be surprised if you two never met. But he was one of the former-”

“Paladins, right. Just like you were.” Lance smiled, hoping that mentioning their paladin days might spark any recognition to who he was to them. 

Shiro nodded gleefully. “Correct. That much you already know. Great. Once a paladin, always a paladin. I’ll never be known as Captain...everyone usually opens up by asking about my days as the Black Paladin. But this-” His grey eyes glinted, focused on Lance, “This is a first. A nice change in pace. I’m kinda tired of having to answer all of the same questions that fires out from all the new people I meet with.” 

Tired of talking about how it was being a paladin? _Tell me about it_ , Lance wanted to say, but he treaded carefully on this day full of mishaps. “I can only imagine.” Lance decided on and earned a grateful squeeze to his knee by Shiro. 

What he should do was ask about the paladins, try to gather intel on how much of Lance did they not know about. He used to be the blue paladin. Hells, he used to pilot _two_ of the lions of Voltron. But if neither Pidge nor Keith recognized him, then his days of being a paladin was definitely not a part of their memories. 

Someone, or, something must have wiped Lance off the map, internally. As if everyone he loved and knew had suffered from severe amnesia, and all they forgot about was Lance. 

However, none of that made sense either. People still knew of Lance’s existence. He still had a job at the Garrison. People referred to him by his name. It was just the time he experienced with his closest friends, _his family_ , that was gone. 

Could be a fluke. He still needed to gather more information. There were still a few more people he had to find and talk to before he could untangle this mystery. “So, this Keith fella. He’s the head of the Blade of Marmora, if my pre-knowledge of the former paladins is correct. But, you want us working together on Cadet McKinney? Isn’t he usually gone most of the year, on missions?”

“He’s taking a year off from the Blades. His subordinate, Acxa, has taken over as leader in his stead. He came to me last night and told me he wanted more time on Earth. To gather his…” Shiro knitted his brows, “senses on some kind of matter. I don’t know what. But he’s my brother and I respect his choices, although he does do a fine job as a Blade.” Shiro’s gaze relaxed, hooking Lance to him. 

Lance smiled in return, holding a hand up to his brow-point, saluting him reassuringly, “I assure you we’ll make Ms. McKinney into one hell of a pilot.” 

“She’ll be taking over the Red lion..” Shiro proceeded, looking down at his communicator, reading graphs and reports on the mentioned. 

The Red lion? But Lance piloted Red. His face fell, turning grave. “She will?” Lance asked, repressing the rise of tears forming in his ducts. 

Being told that someone was replacing him as pilot hit him hard. Harder than anything. Almost even harder so than being rejected by the man he loves. “But why- isn’t there already a pilot for Red?” Lance interjected as Shiro was ready to respond. 

“The former paladin of the Red lion...We have no intel on what happened, other than he is gone- without a trace. None of us -- the other paladins -- the Alteans, can exactly pinpoint a reason for his absence. We’re trying to put our finger on who the previous paladin was, but-” Shiro shook his head in defeat, almost like he too was digging deep after something. Something missing in the dark.

All Lance could do was keep still, hoping he would go on. 

Shiro caught his hypnotized look. “We’ve always been five paladins. As long as we can all remember. Keith, Hunk, Pidge, Allura and I- we’ve all been pilots of the lions. But..there was a time I was away, and Keith had to take over the Black lion, meaning that someone piloted Red. Although, we have no memory of such. And we can’t go around asking everyone if they piloted the Red lion, let alone gather recollection and proof if they confess it...Red..The Red lion’s been offline lately, no one has been able to find a way online so the missing paladin will remain a mystery to us all in the meantime.”

Lance made a grave face. “ Hey..” Shiro caught his attention, giving Lance a reassuring look, the gray in his eyes looking lively, compared to his murky blue. “This could be a bad dream that we all dreamt of together.” Shiro chuckled at the thought, trying to wave away the density of the air around them. 

_ I piloted Red. _ Lance was screaming it in his head over and over again. Being the one who still had the memory intact. Remembering all the times he had with his fellow paladins. With his friends and family. 

Unfortunately, he knew it would be no use. Not until he went and searched for Red’s whereabouts and could show his friends that he was the missing pilot. That he had been with them all along. 

“But why do you need me, Shiro? I’m just a teacher...shouldn’t the other paladins train Cadet McKinney? They have the experience, they could show her the ropes and everything.” 

“Time is a difficult matter, Officer McClain. Hunk and Pidge are extremely busy figuring out the new tech we received, and Allura, she’s on New Altea at the moment, teaching the new Alteans earthly customs and traditions. She’s become quite fond of our planet-” There was an awkward strain in Shiro’s neck, but Lance paid no more attention to that. 

So they didn’t need him really. Only that he was to be Cadet McKinney’s teacher, and all they had available at the time. Also, he had to work with.. Typical. Lance really had the best luck.

“I see.” Lance murmured. 

“If it’s no trouble, we would be delighted if you teamed up with Keith and showed Madeline the ropes. Even if you have no experience as a paladin, we’ve heard remarkable things about your pilot history. Top of your class. A nickname...a ‘the tailor’.” 

The tailor? Really? That’s how they knew of him. As the mother freakin’ tailor. All he did was  _ ‘thread the needle’,  _ he remembered he had said through one of the simulations with Hunk and Pidge a long, long time ago.  _ Damn _ , he had been such a child. 

Lance groaned to himself at the memory, but laughed it all away when Shiro stared at him with cat-like eyes. He wanted to blame the eyeliner, that cat-eye was applied perfectly. Like it was no effort at all. 

“Yeah.” Lance tried hard to force out a believable chuckle, going on, “Right, ‘the tailor’.” He clawed his fingers repressing the urge to make air quotes. “I thread the needle with my smooth flying, alright. So, when do I get started?” Lance questioned, he might as well get the information needed before he set forth to figure out what the hell was really going on.

Because all questioning pranks aside, this did not seem like a prank. It was all dawning on Lance, that this: his friends forgetting him. It was his reality now. 


	4. Chapter 4

Lance’s first instinct when he left Shiro’s office was to search for Red. If he could find Red, he could connect through their link and try to convince him that he’s Lance, _his pilot_. Better yet, his paladin and buddy old pal. Or, he could do like Keith and shout his name at him for a very long time. Then, once their connection is all synched up and completed, Red could recollect all the memories of him and Lance side by side in the cockpit living their best and worst lives while he was a paladin. 

To then project it out for the others to see, prove to them, that Lance was one of the paladins; still is. 

But if Red didn’t recognize him, like the others..”Then I’m fucking screwed..” He mumbled, wiping a tired hand across his face not thinking about the volume of his murmuring. 

“‘Scuse me?” A voice - familiarly high-pitched - reached his ears, turning to his side to catch..

“Pidge!” Lance hitched, stifling his voice to keep it dialed down not to attract attention from the other officers in Atlas going about with their lives, going about as if Lance’s presence made no difference.

It actually really hurt, being ignored. 

Pidge looked the same as ever. Even if it had been three years since their clash with Honerva and almost dying trying to save the world, she still sported her short pixie cut, hair all shiny and honey-blonde, and she lost those big round glasses that belonged to Matt. Also, she was tall. Much taller than before, almost at Lance’s height. Coming back to Earth and being forced down some greens really ignited her growth spurt. 

She was wearing a long, white lab coat, looking all kinds of sciency and professional despite her age not being older than 18, but her brains and intellect told otherwise. 

“Officer McClain, I presume you just had your meeting with Shiro?” She said, wary about being friendly with Lance. Again, hurts, a lot. 

Lance threw a nervous hand at the back of his neck, wiping away the sweat beads that built up. Why was he sweating? It wasn’t his fault that everyone he was close to seemed to look at him like he was some sort of new kid at school. Seriously, how hard was it to forget Lance of all people, he was the loudest one out there. 

Like hello! There was that one time they landed on this very secluded planet where its inhabitants were too scared of the paladins, hidden away in plain sight hoping not to be disturbed, ever, by them. But Lance, he had to storm the grounds with his _razzle dazzle_ ploys and managed to be loud enough to drag the little tykes out of their hiding spots. Turned out, the aliens were the friendliest aliens you could get acquainted with and became one of Earth’s most important help and support during the war. 

But all troubled matters aside, seemed like Pidge had absolutely no recollection of Lance and his expertises of being nothing other than exceptionally loud. And, just, _there._

“Yeah. Yeah, Shiro was assigning me to teach this very promising cadet...since the rest of you guys-” Lance cleared his throat, pulling his index finger at his collar, “Uhm- well, time wasn’t of the essence for the paladins, Shiro explained.” Lance closed with a small voice, looking down. 

He couldn’t take looking at Pidge, the way she was looking at him. Her glance all chipper and nice. This wasn’t the Pidge he knew. She would’ve usually been all feisty and throwing comebacks at Lance, asking or practically pleading to leave this place and go play some games during work hours because she was so sick of having her nagging parents on her tail every ticking second. 

But it was unlikely, her smile was stretched, but it didn’t look warm or inviting. It didn’t look like a smile made for a friend, only for an acquaintance. A stranger. 

“He’s not wrong. Us paladins, we have so much to do it’s getting outta hand. We appreciate the work you guys, the officers, the instructors, do here at the Garrison. I’ve heard alot about cadet McKinney, she was in Officer Griffin’s class. But we’ve also heard great things about your piloting skills and she’s been nagging like any other 16-year-old to be taught by the one and only _Tailor._ ” Pidge was now holding her communicator in her hand, Matt’s face glowing on it. Before she took the call, her elbow bumped into Lance’s side. 

They finally shared something that felt more than strangeness. More than something obscure. Her lips were peeled genuinely, and Lance took it as an open slot to shout out in the moment she started walking away, “Mall!” 

“What?” Pidge lowered her device, knitting her brows. 

What was Lance thinking? It was worth a shot, he thought. “Space mall? Do you maybe recall-” 

Pidge’s face turned blank, going back to staring at Lance like he was this mad man. Clearly, if she had remembered their fun day at the space mall when they wore those ridiculous wannabe pirate disguises, she would have lit up to it. But nothing. All Lance could see on her face were shadows. Feeling the hollowness in his gut grow wider. 

“Nothing. It was nothing, something just sparked in my mind when we talked.” Lance hummed, “Keith, uh, Shiro’s brother..? Do you know where I can find him?” 

“Yeah, he’s probably in one of the training rooms preparing the simulators for classes tomorrow. If he’s not there, then he’s definitely out riding his hover bike. Then you’d have to wait until dinner...I gotta take this-” Pidge held up her communicator, Matt’s face still glowing. 

Lance nodded for her to take it, “Yeah, course. Catch you lat-” 

But before he could finish, Pidge had gone on to the next thing, screaming at her brother. Just how Lance remembered her. 

Tears were threatening to rise again in his ducts. He blinked them back, swallowing around his beating heart taking up space in his throat. He made a hard swallow, there was no time to waste, he had to get to the bottom of this, and the only way he could think of was to find Red. 

And to find Red, he had to go find Keith. 

To Lance’s unfortunate navigational skills, he had forgotten that there were an uncountable number of training facilities. Making him the biggest dumb-dumb forgetting to ask Pidge, or Shiro for that matter, which room Keith was keeping busy. 

Around him in the large corridor in one of the grand scale departments of the Garrison, Lance took in his surroundings. There were 10 training rooms per level. This department, of course, had 10 levels, making that 100 different classrooms for Lance to go play _hide and go seek_. 

Luckily for him, he caught a loud banging noise coming from one of the rooms. He lifted his face all casually through the door’s window. And through the window, he saw Keith. 

Keith was like he always was when he was alone. Fighting. Well, _training._

He had activated one of the dummies that they used to train against in the Castle, going at it with his Blade, usually small, now induced with his Galra lineage shaping it into a long sword. 

Looking like a killer ninja, doing high jumps in the air and rolling around on the floor like it was nothing, Keith found Lance looking through the window. He held up a gloved hand, then caved out a loud groan when he wasn’t paying attention to the dummy when it shot him down with a painful side kick. 

Lance threw the door open, “Keith! Are you alright!?” He sprinted over to where Keith was laying all beat on the floor. The dummy now deactivated. Meaning, Keith’s sword had found a spot through its skull. 

Shines of sweat glistened from Keith’s forehead, those nebula eyes cascading off a whole galaxy. Lance could feel his fingertips prickle, wishing Keith had reciprocated his feelings, all so that he could take those fingertips and gently caress his cheek. Praise him for his kick-ass, sweat-induced training sequence. He looked good, not to lie. 

But Lance retracted his worried hand, clenching his jaw trying not to feign any obvious hurt. Instead, he planted his arms on his hips, staring down the mullet head who was still defeated to the floor, one of his gloved hands resting on his forehead. 

Keith smirked at Lance. “So, you come here to yell at me again?” 


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this is getting all loosey-goosey, but I do promise a new chapter every week. Hope you're enjoying it so far, I see now that I need to fill in some plot in the next chapters. I promise it's going to go somewhere, just uncertain as to where the destination might be, but do enjoy the ride for the meantime. :)

“No. I wasn’t here to yell at you...again.” Lance averted Keith’s gaze, looking sheepish. 

He started fickling with his uniform sleeve, tugging it downwards while still keeping his focus away from the mullet laying dead on the floor. 

Keith’s smirk grew deeper, into a blooming smile before he let loose a small chuckle, planting his gloved hands on the floor to prop himself back up to Lance’s standing level.

“You sure about that? Cause you were pretty heated, storming out of my hallway this morning calling me a heartless dick and all that.” 

“I never said heartless-” Lance frowned, sending off an innocent glare, registering Keith’s height for a split-second. Did he grow in inch since he lost his memory of Lance? 

Scratchy material hit Lance square in the face when Keith slapped his towel at him, laughing low. “Look, I gotta change quickly, or else my sweat will stink up the whole room. Don’t want those kids coming in here tomorrow already complaining, gotta get them in shape from the first step they make in here. Ya know what I mean.” Keith shrugged nonchalantly, giving Lance a smooth grin. 

Smooth grin aside - and there's a dimple, god - Lance squinted in troubled thought. Did he say kids? As in plural? 

It wasn’t much to fawn about as Lance was too busy continuously tugging at his shirt-sleeve feeling a tad nervous around Keith, and that pokeable dimple. 

Swallowing was proving to be a feat non-functional to Lance’s body at the moment, taking in Keith’s sweat-drenched state now. All he did was nod, pointing to the vacant seats in the room. “S-sure, go get washed up. I’ll wait here and we can..” Lance stopped, why was he here again? 

He felt a weighted hand squeeze his shoulder, looking down at the hand that was kissing leather. Keith really loved those gloves, even enough to train his ass off in them. Did he ever wash those things, Lance wondered, giving Keith’s hand a hard stare. 

Keith pulled him out of his trance. “I’ll be back in a jiffy, these showers are a fucking ice-storm, they need to fix these pipes here soon or else I’m gonna kick some heads in.” Keith said darkly, casting a playful wink at Lance before he left the room. 

And with that Lance sat down, feeling the hollowness residing sink deeper and deeper inside him, creating a suffocating void. He’d just wait, and see what happened next. 

As he waited, he got to thinking. There wasn’t much else to do other than think, since he had no friends to talk to on his communicator. At least, no one who would remember him. The hurt he felt earlier with Pidge, with Shiro, it was increasing its pain. If Lance didn’t figure this whole losing their memories ploy soon, he’d have to live along with this charade and accept them all as acquaintances. Forget the good memories. Forget ever being their friend, their family. 

Within the next 10 minutes, sitting alone with his thoughts, Lance caught a fresh-as-daisies mullet pour back into the room. The view was causing his heart to run a marathon. 

Keith had changed out of his black sweats and tight red t-shirt into more Garrison appropriate attire. A red and white military jacket, but more custom made compared to Lance’s Officer uniform, with a belt looped over his middle, and gray leggings along with his favorite high-top boots. Lance bet everything he owned Keith’s blade was stashed somewhere on his person, ready to fling it out in case of any incoming danger. Like Lance himself, you know, him being a stranger and all. 

Now was not the time to adornably fawn over Keith’s uniform, even though he did look like a model in it. And Lance wanted to take a few pics of him, but that would be too weird, no? 

In frustration, Lance raked his fingers through his curled locks, sighing. 

“So, uhm- I came to look for you because, well, I spoke with Shiro-”

“Sweet! Then you know we’ll be working together shaping up the hand-plucked promising cadets that got upgraded from Griffin’s class?” 

Lance didn’t like being interrupted, but they weren’t friends as of this moment, so no use barking at Keith. “Affirmative. He told me that you weren’t going on missions for a year, taking some time off from the Blades…" Lance cleared his throat weakly, mustering up the courage to ask, "W-why is that, actually? From what I’ve heard, you loved working along side the Blades.”

Something dismal overtook Keith’s expression. He sat down next to Lance, sighing in return, one a bit more deeper than usual. “Honestly…” He snickered, although half-heartedly, like something was bothering him, then retracted wearing an odd look, one gloved hand up in Lance's face, “Woah, we hardly even know each other and I’m gonna go all sharing time with ya, but- guess it’s more comforting like that.” Keith lowered his cautious hand, hooking onto Lance’s gaze, a small smile claiming his rosy lips. 

_ God. _

“You can trust me, man. I-” Lance stopped, he shouldn’t share too much information to begin with. He had to think smart here. Tactical. If he slipped out anything about him being one of the paladins, their friend- that he loved Keith...Because right now, to Lance’s perception, Keith had forgotten all about Lance’s confession. 

To which, that information took a small sliver of light in Lance’s mind. 

Could this be like a second chance? Lance slammed a frying pan at that thought, going back to Keith. “I’m a trustworthy guy.” Lance settled with a blue wink, catching a tinge of pink dusting Keith’s cheeks. 

Their stare went on a bit longer than needed, Keith cleared his throat. “Right. So.” He smacked his lips a couple times, teeth grazing impatiently, “Something came up last night. You know that friend I was talking about I was with?”

“You mean the friend that wasn’t me?” Lance flatlined, looking bored. 

Keith went sheepish, “Uh, yeah? You still on that? I thought we were passed that? Anywho, that friend told me something, and it got me thinking- and I hate thinking…” That pulled a laugh out of Lance. “Well, after some thought. I decided that I needed time here on Earth to gather those stupid thoughts and decide on something.”

“Like what?” Lance arched a brow, inquisitively. 

_ I was that friend, Keith. I confessed to you, was that what changed your mind to stay on Earth? _

Feelings never were a hot topic for the emo. Lance could see how much he was fighting that internal war of emotions. Keith shared, “Like...I don’t know if I feel comfortable yet talking about these things with you. We barely know each other…” 

“I don’t agree on that.” Lance spat out. 

“What?”

“You heard me. I think you know me more than you think.” 

Sitting across each other in the flight simulator stools that had been taken out to polish before tomorrow’s class, Lance shuffled closer to Keith, as close as he thought was acceptable for the emo. 

His face reached close, staying a few inches from Keith, their eyes anchoring on to each other. Lance felt his cheeks threaten to light a couple matches underneath, staring too long at Keith’s very attractive face, he hedged, “Uh, what I mean is..” Lance’s voice had gone all vibrated, but to Keith’s perception, he took no notice, just angling his head to the side, blinking idly, for Lance to go on…

Lance tried a different angle. “Who- Who am I to you, Keith?” 

Bravery claimed Lance, he took his index finger, sensing a small shake to it, and planted it firmly on Keith’s, very hard, very broad chest. Lance gulped, “In your heart...who am I...to you?” 

The question just slipped out. Lance needed answers. He knew he should be asking about Red’s location to truly prove his existence, that he wasn’t lost. That the fifth paladin, the blue paladin, was right here. Sitting right in front of the red paladin, ready for everything to go back to normality. 

But, his heart was unfortunately ten times larger than his brain. 

It seemed like Keith wanted to repress a sudden outburst of laughter, but he ran his tongue over his teeth, making a thinking stare, “In my heart…” He said, still thinking, this case definitely something hard to chew on by the looks of it. 

To Lance's surprise, Keith's eyes, those galaxy filled eyes, so damn easy to get lost into; Lance caught his breath when Keith stared him down, taking in every square inch of him as his eyes followed from his own eyes roving down slowly like an x-ray scanner down to Lance’s hands, that were laced neatly together on his lap. And sweating up a whole ocean, by the by.

Keith cocked a half smile,showing a sharp protruding canine, his eyes bouncing back to Lance’s stare. “Why you’re Lance McClain, of course.” He plainly replied, happy with his answer while his hands rested nonchalantly behind his head. 

But then, as Lance’s name released from Keith’s tongue, something happened. Keith flashed a look of...recognition. A quick shake, and the sense was gone, along with Lance’s hope as he was raised to his feet. 

Lance slumped back down on his seat, wishing he could punch something. 

All's fair that ends fair, Lance would take Keith’s answer and look at this amnesia thing as a second chance. A chance to become friends with Keith, play nice with him and...maybe have a do-over? 

Pain flared in his chest, nonetheless. Looking back, he knew they had gone through many -- a shit ton -- hardships before they became friends. And all those hardships: their fights, bickerings, their rivalry...Lance had enjoyed every second of it. It wasn’t something to push down in a waste bin and blast off into the far depths of unknown space. No. Lance had worked hard to have Keith were he was today. 

“That’s it...just…Lance McClain? You don’t know anything about me?” Some sort of light had to switch on somewhere inside Keith. He knew from that little jolt he caught from Keith the second his name fell on his lips, that something was there. Maybe it was hiding? 

Keith had his thumb and index finger to his chin, smoothing it down while humming. “I know you’re a banging good pilot. I’ve heard a lot of stories from my big bro about your pilot history, that you-”

“ _ Thread the needle _ , yada yada yada- Yeah, sure! I’m the mofo tailor, we get it! Just call me Taylor from now on if that’s all you know about me!” Lance never meant for this tangent to come hastily crawling out of his mouth, but he was so sick of this tailor business. 

He wanted to be _remembered_. As Lance, the Lance who was also a paladin. Not as a good pilot. If Keith knew any better, he would say that he was the best pilot. Because Keith, he was an exceptional pilot, the very best one could find in today’s day and age- and galaxy. Lance wouldn’t trust any one else to fly besides. Keith would always have his back. 

Lance had slid almost all the way off his chair, annoyed to the core, his arms crossed in a heated temper. His glare slacked when he caught Keith sporting a relaxed stare at him. “Sorry, man. But that’s all I know about you...But…” Keith went back to sheepish now, smacking his lips once, “But, I’m willing to know more about you..we are going to be working together starting tomorrow. I think we should hit it off by working on being teammates. Sound good?” 

Teammates? Become a good team? Sheesh, this was all going deja vu now, Lance thought. He held back a hard eye roll, slapping into Keith’s held out hand, shaking it for confirmation. 

He’d go along with Keith’s terms for the time being. But, Lance wasn’t going to give up that easily, no. While their hands kept interlocked, Keith smiled with his eyes closed. Lance took a deep breath, hoping he could light up some kind of path inside his friend. 

He'd just have to keep on trying. And to prove to everyone, once and for all, that he was worth remembering. 


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some more dragging, sorry, plot will be coming sooooon.

The next morning, Lance woke up not feeling a single hint of that disturbing off-feeling he had in his stomach the day before. 

He shot up as fast as lightning from his pillow, eyes bulging. 

“Wait...wait...wait-” His mouth mumbled, running on its own.

He ran to his bathroom, still shouting to no one in particular, "Wait, wait, waaaait!"

To some degree of want, maybe yesterday was all just a misunderstanding; a quiznaken large fluke. _Please._ Lance hated the rest of the evening yesterday. When he went to the common area for dinner, he tried hard to find Hunk because Keith had been hard to locate, as per usual. And Hunk was Lance’s last resort at getting to the bottom of this memory loss facade. But to his ultimate dismay, and heartbreaking misfortune, Hunk was nowhere to be found. 

Even in the kitchens, Lance didn’t even detect a single smidge of that bright orange headband or his hearty booming laugh. In the end, he ended up piling his dinner tray with everything he thought comforting, making his way over to a gang he recognized. Griffin and the gang, which consisted of: James, of course, looking as crass and assholey as usual; then Kincaid, with his rare colgate smiles and chocolate eyes that compliment his equally dark complexion. And to top it all off, the ever so bipolar opposites but never untangling, Ina and Nadia, looking as young and refined as ever. 

When Lance had made his presence at their table; the MFEs, they with politeness invited Lance to join them, but they acted like they never met the guy. The void in his gut, it was burrowing deeper and deeper the longer Lance lingered by their table not being able to join in on any of their conversations without seeming weird. 

Evidently, Lance wounded up eating in the bathroom; in a vacant stall swallowing down his food together with the sobs that tried to choke out of him. Tears had spilled out, though. What else could he do? He had no other choice but to let everyone treat him like a stranger. It was tiring, he was sad. No one knew him, and Lance was very much memorable. 

Birds were chirping their morning melody while Lance bathed happily in the warm-warm water that sprayed all over his back, droplets racing down his looming body as he hummed in tune with the birdies. _All a misunderstanding; just a dream; a food-coma_. One of these must have hit him hard and made him dream this very odd, very life-like scary delusion of being forgotten. Of being left in the dark. 

What were they called again? _Lucid_ -dreams? Yeah, Lance must have been lucid-dreaming. Being hit into an extremely deep sleep where he woke up in his dream, clearly aware of his awakeness in the dream. 

What else could it have been? 

He was fully clothed now; in his alternative Garrison uniform, the one he used while he taught, not the casual off-day uniform; this one was a light gray color, also hemmed with orange edges and his badges pinned neatly to the right side of his chest, and lastly, his cap placed neatly on the top of his curly head. 

Material sewed in a bright cerulean blue color peeked through his opened closet. Oddly enough, Lance didn’t go for that uniform; the specially tailored one, similar to Keith’s red one. Something in his gut was telling him not to wear it for today’s activities, and with the luck he was sporting this morning, he decided to follow that gut-feeling. 

Nodding all contently to himself in the mirror, all pleased with his look and to go meet with his friends, his fellow paladins, he grabbed his necessary miniscule things and headed out the door- 

“Fuck!” Someone gutted out when Lance crashed into-

“Keith?!...Hey...man…” Lance had both his hands on Keith’s shoulders, keeping him upright and not from becoming a new carpet for his corridor. 

Since yesterday was all a dream (to Lance's assumption) that would mean that Keith remembered Lance’s confession. Shoot, Lance’s fingers tensed into Keith’s shoulders when the thought hit him; loosening his grip, and inching back a few feet away. 

He hadn't escaped far when he felt a hand grip him back, “Don’t sweat it, Lance. Uh..” Keith checked out the carpet, hiding his blush.

Lance’s whole heart sunk. Keith didn’t blush, ever. From Lance's experience, the mullet just didn't understand the concept of blushing, other than having his cheeks flicker if there were warmth around him, and the guy grew up in a desert, warmth was his second nature. Dude could withstand any heat. So, ultimately, Keith blushing unwillingly in a semi-chilled hallway, well...Do the math.

“I can call you Lance, right? Unless you prefer Officer McClain...” Keith proceeded to ask, his blush growing deeper in color. 

Darkness quietly enfolded Lance, his vision going spotty. Yesterday _wasn’t_ a dream, it hit him. _Fuck._ That meant that Keith still didn’t remember him. The dude was blushing for Christ’s sake. 

“Yeah. Yeah, sure, ‘course you can call me Lance. We’re colleagues aren’t we? Sheesh, you’re a paladin! I should be the one being all formal with you..” Lance forced a small smile on his lips, just to keep Keith grounded. 

“Good.” Keith nodded, “Good. Not that I wouldn’t mind calling you Officer McClain or anything…” Keith went silent, looking almost, somewhat inebriated, “like I would love to call you _McDreamy_ or something like that-” Realization hit him like a tennis ball to his snout, “ _shit_ , did I just- did I actually say that out loud…” Keith bit onto his lower lip, wincing with embarrassment. It was like he was turning into this weird teenage school girl, now walking backwards in the corridor, looking all kinds of nuances of fazed out by being close to Lance again. 

Lance didn’t know what to think of this Keith. Other than he found it all kinds of adorable, smiling genuinely this time. “McDreamy, ey? I like that one, probably not appropriate around the kids, though. So probably smart to just stick with Lance.” 

“Cool," Keith smiled. “Coolios.” He threw a thumb behind him, “Uh- were you just about to head to-?”

Wow. He was insanely flustered, something Lance had never seen Keith act like before. Wishing he could pull out a polaroid and capture the moment to show _his_ Keith, like when his memories came back- everything inside Lance switched off. Going dark. 

Completely dark.

That darkness he hated enfolded him yet again, encompassing everything that made Lance, Lance. It was almost like a heavy curtain, drowning him, seizing his ankle and dragging him further and further down the depths of nothingness. Of forgetfulness. A place where he didn’t exist. 

Shaking away the sunken feeling of nothing, Lance nodded to Keith. “Yeah. Was just about to make my way to the training room. 08:30, right? The cadets should be there waiting for us on the dot, better not show up late.” Lance bumped an elbow at Keith’s side, making no gesture out of it, even if his insides were having a rave party by the sudden touch. 

Being able to touch Keith like this, without him having to be so reluctant about everything. Keeping his emotions back, his feelings for the mullet. It was a feeling of...freedom, sort of. But Lance didn’t know whether this feeling was a good thing, or bad…

All he did know was that one day he’d get his Keith back. No ifs. None, he decided on. So maybe, _maybe_ not let Keith get his hopes up. Because it was obvious, and quite mind-boggling to be honest, that Keith, _this Keith_ , had a thing for Lance. 

Ogling his wrist, Lance's watch glared a yellow sheen revealing that it were only 0800 AM, still 30 minutes until their new class arrived. Lance felt somewhat prepared, he knew aerodynamics inside and out. Being a paladin didn't exactly help harness all the technical knowledge about being a pilot, but that was where his time at the Garrison had a helping hand. 

When Keith got kicked out during his first year, Lance had made it to the top of his class in piloting which plummeted the moment him and his friends were guided by their precarious nosiness to check out a sudden meteor crash outside their school. 

To which, everything changed drastically.

But now, all that change seemed to mean squat. At least, not to everyone around Lance. He was still impacted with flying experience, flying with both Red and Blue, feeling like a decent pilot due to that, so his intellect in technical information about being a pilot was luckily still ingrained in his brain from his time at the Garrison, all ready for action. 

Next to him in the training facility, he caught Keith reading the simulators checking their functionality. Lance sighed silently, slumping his shoulders in tranquil. He never did get a chance to ask about Red's whereabouts. Only because he knew he would have been denied access on the spot, since well, he wasn't a paladin in this weird dreamscape that he was trapped in. 

So his plan -- cause he had a plan forming in his head as the day went by -- was to get closer to Keith. Right, not that long ago he had chosen _not_ to lead Keith on; that backfired in seconds. This might not be a good idea, except, all Lance felt was this peculiar shoveled out hollowness in his gut the more he conversed or even stood close to the mullethead, but he needed to get to Red, and to get to Red, he knew he needed to get close to Keith. 

By doing so, simmering in his mind, he wistfully roamed about in the training facility, taking in his surroundings. 6 piloting simulators, a large, dark-blue, squared training mat with the castle dummies lined up on the side, and desks for traditional classes when they needed to learn about history, or practical terms in flying and what not. All in all, there really wasn’t any more to a training facility. 

Granted, they did need to learn technical terms to show competence and to be aware of what they truly were doing in a real cockpit, but if Cadet McKinney, or any of these other kids were going to pilot a Voltron lion, it all wholly relied on feeling; not being technical or smart, like knowing big words. If they were going to fight against a large, evil alien race they wouldn’t have time to think about the notches and buttons in their cockpit, everything would most definitely rely on gut-feeling. That was how a paladin thought; in Lance’s remembrance that is. 

“Hey...everything alright?” Keith sidled up to Lance’s side, his hands gloved; shiny and all leathery black. Lance was uncertain if they were a new pair, or the same he always wore; furrowing his brows in thought. 

Still in thought, he shook off his sudden deep thinking state, “Yeah, sure. Just...a little nervous?” Flexing his hands to fling away any sign of being jittered.

Keith jutted out a fast cackle, slamming Lance’s back a couple times. “You? You’re like one of Iverson’s favorite Instructors at this place.” His lips elongated gracefully, his indigo eyes sparkling under the orange lighting, “Says you’re amazing with the kids.” 

Beneath Lance’s cheeks, he felt a whole bonfire snap and crackled; hiding his sudden flustered face away from Keith’s unexpected compliment. “I..that old fart really said that? About me?!” 

Lance took the chance to make a glance at Keith, who looked all cute with his lips curled slightly upwards, that sparkle still glittering like stars in the night sky. _Wow_. Sometimes Lance had to check twice with his heart if Keith really were the one, but one sudden look at that smile and he always knew the answer. 

It’s yes, by the way. 

“Ooh,” Keith hissed through his teeth, “Probably not call General Iverson a fart...he can get pretty cranky if someone is acting improper around him…” 

“Dude’s not here right now, so I can say anything I want.” 

Keith made low chuckle, hiding his mouth when he mumbled, "Dude, really is a fart." 

Almost faltering by the beeping of his wrist-watch, Lance hadn’t noticed how much he was smiling, the corners of his lips almost aching. Keith was smiling along with him, a tiny chuckle escaping the two of them while waiting for their students as they made small-talk.

There might be a shot, Lance cocked a thin brown brow up to meet his hairline as he studied Keith’s relaxed and happy presence. 

Dare he ask him? There was still time. Even if this was day 2 out of how many days Lance had to live like this, it was better to act on his plan as soon as possible. A quick flick with his stare at his watch; ten more minutes till the new cadets would file in. 

Right, no better time than the present.

“Uhm...so..” Lance slid his feet closer to Keith, almost bumping his black boot into Keith’s, standing with his hands firmly behind his back, then leaning in close, “What do you know about the previous Red lion’s pilot..?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I appreciate all comments and kudos, they make my heart all doki doki ~


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally, I get to introduce you all to my ocs! I've grown really fond of this group. :)

Keith looked dumbfounded. Bushy black eyebrows knitted worriedly, red mouth hanging open in deep thought. 

Ten long seconds passed, but finally he answered, “I don’t know what you’re talking about...I’ve always been Red’s pilot..” His expression still remained dumbfounded, like that information wasn't right either, his eyebrows made deeper lines in the middle, thinking hard still. 

Okay, not the answer Lance was expecting. But what answer was he expecting? The truth? That Lance was originally, currently Red’s pilot, and Keith piloted Black now? It was odd, Keith still thinking he piloted Red, maybe this amnesia trip made him believe he was still Red's pilot. No use mulling about it or interrogating on that matter...Even if he did actually anticipate that answer, but deep down in the cavern with a lost abyss growing bigger, he knew deep down, that the answer he wanted, wasn’t the answer he was going to receive. 

It was worth a shot, though. 

“But you piloted the Black lion for a while, or did I get that information all wrong?” Lance changed into a another new angle, trying to pry innocently for answers. 

“No, no. No. I-” Keith stammered, hard, which was unlikely for him, “Uhm, well, I _did_ pilot the Black lion and..thought I still did when I made Captain of the Blades, but-" His eyes winced. "Something...long ago, well, something happened to Shiro, my brother, and we were only four paladins remaining for a period of time and-" Lance could see he was trying so hard to search for answers, but the pain behind his eyes were causing an uncomfortable stir in Lance's chest. 

“But you guys were able to form Voltron...save-” Lance treaded lightly on that word, hoping it wouldn’t mess things up, “-Shiro, with Voltron? From what I’ve heard, that is..” He saved, hoping so hard that he wasn’t giving too much away. There was no need to freak Keith out with this information. If he didn’t know Lance, then Lance wasn’t supposed to know all the details, just, just the details that he, as only an instructor at the Garrison, would know. 

“Yeah…” Keith sounded surprised by his answer, his eyes glinting with a new recognition, like he was rewinding his brain to go to that time they were only 4 paladins - 5 if they had remembered Lance’s very existence - “we did...but then we would need five paladins.” 

“Which is why we’re now teaching the cadets.” Lance helped along the way. 

“Right. Then that means we must have been- while Shiro was- Lance?"

“Yeah?” Lance’s eyes woke up, chest twirling from his stir by dancing in anticipation for Keith to speak. Did he get his memory back? Please, oh please…”I’m sorry, I- whenever I think back to that time everything..becomes so...hazy. My memories...like they're tangled somehow. Everything is so...dark." He said, sounding frightened by the term almost.

Dark. Is that all Lance had become for him?

Darkness? 

“Keith...there's something you need to know.” 

Bursting galaxies caught hold of Lance, “Alright?” Keith propped up, an interested tilt claiming his lips. 

But Lance wasn’t given the chance to say anything when the door smacked open and 5 kids ran into the room yelling at each other. 

Yelling was an understatement, they were close to ripping each other’s heads off. “Okidoki! Settle down, settle down.” Lance clapped to gain attention, switching automatically into instructor mode. Sure, his existence might be a hidden treasure hard to find on a map, but he still knew how to work a classroom filled with immature teens. 

The kids immediately stopped clawing at each other’s throats when they heard Lance’s strict command echoing through the room, filing up next to each other in a perfect line, their hands already made into a salute at their brows. 

_Way to go, Griffin_ , Lance thought all impressed. 

Angrily grinding his teeth since he couldn’t get through to Keith right now due to having to do his job, Lance started pacing in front of the new recruits. Albeit, they weren’t new at the Garrison, but they were new students for Lance, and for Keith. 

Taking them in, Lance counted 5 cadets, as stated earlier by Keith. Not Shiro, Shiro had only mentioned _one_ promising recruit: Ms. Madeline McKinney, who was now standing up strong and straight with her back, her right hand saluted on her brow point, and her left hand fallen to her side. 

She was short, around Pidge’s height when she became the green paladin. Choppy, platinum blonde hair with pink tips, and a nose piercing of all things. Lance stopped pacing, standing before Madeline. He turned on his heel to stare the promising recruit down. Icy-blue eyes, freckles dotting her across her light skin, and a scar sliced along her upper lip. 

Madeline McKinney, Lance thought, right, so she would become his replacement. “Cadet.” Lance pressed on the title, Madeline straightened her back more, if possible.

“Officer McClain.” She replied, voice hollowed out, almost like she were a robot. 

To his right, Lance caught an explosion of purple when his gaze found Keith studying Lance’s approach at the kids. When he made eye-contact with Lance for that brief moment, he smiled. A jolt erupted inside Lance, and there was no time to reveal his flushed state in front of 5 hormonal kids, they would pounce on him like easy prey. 

On second thought, to quell the anticipated onslaught of heat on his cheeks, Lance smiled lightly back, nodding that he was going to take over the introductions phase of the class. Keith read his expression, confirming with a provocative head tilt that he may go on. 

_Think about something you hate_ , Lance kept on chanting in his head. It did not help that Keith was wearing his custom-made uniform, looking so good in red. Not only that, it almost looked like it had shrinked in his washer, pulling in all the right - those very bulging biceps - places. 

Lance made a heavy swallow, “Roll call.” He ordered. 

During every first lesson, to check attendance, the instructor would shout out all military the phrase: _Roll Call_. And in return the instructor would be given…

His new flight squad.

The first cadet stepped forth. A boy, Lance assumed around the youngest of ages of 15. Asian decent, although not fully Asian, he could see some form of caucasian in the shape of his eyes and from the lighter complexion of his skin. Although nearly almond shaped, his eyes were a dark chocolate brown color and he had a very defined cupid’s bow, he also had jet-black hair sticking up in every direction known to man. 

Conspicuously coyly, the boy smirked at first releasing a sharp nasaled breath, answering with a heavy English accent, “Haru Pemberton Takahashi, 15, present, _sir_.” He nodded at Lance, that smirk still glued to his face almost like this whole get-up was a game to him. 

_Not the best way to win me over, cadet_ , Lance made a side eye at the youngster. 

The youngest were always the biggest hassle. Lance rolled his eyes under a hard blink, no use showing attitude towards the kids. He grabbed Haru’s hand, soft like a baby’s bottom, squeezing it hard, “Pleasure to make your acquaintance, Cadet.” Lance said, then released it. 

Next up, another male. Compared to Haru’s average height, around 170 cm, this kid was tall. He was taller than both Lance and Keith, his best bet would be close to 190 cm. What caught Lance’s eyes secondarily were beautiful coiled curls in a rusted color, and eyes so green he thought they were made by a forest itself. Sharing Ms. McKinney’s attribute, he too had freckles. However, the boy was splattered in constellations all over his paleing face. 

It was his turn to step forth, presenting an eccentric hand at his forehead, saluting, “Lucas Jacobs, _sirs_ , 17, present.” He slanted a hard nod towards Lance, grabbing his hand determinedly. A little surprised, all Lance felt as he gripped Lucas’ palm was a rough texture of calluses. 

“Glad to have you aboard, Cadet.” Lance smiled. 

Now that the boys were out of the way, it was time for the girls. First in line, reverberating in attitude, smacking loudly on a piece of gum; her complexion a rich dark brown, eyes reflected in a lighter caramel color and hair dreaded up in a thick ponytail. Lance could have sworn he recognized her face, like he had seen her before; or someone who looked like her. 

She bumped her hip to the side, sending Lucas balancing on his feet and called with a strong voice, “Danielle Iverson-” Then her attitude kicked in, “but you can call me Denna, 17-” She smacked twice more on her gum, piercing Lance with her stare, “Present.” 

Sucking in a long heave, Lance grabbed her hand, grinding on his teeth at the strength that came from Ms. Iverson’s grip. Great, so now he had to deal with _two_ Iverson’s. He forgot that that old fart had a daughter. “Ms. Iverson, give your father my best. Hope we will get along well..” There was some form of a question in the back of Lance’s statement, but Denna showed no interest in it.

Instead, she rolled her eyes, popping a bubble in Lance’s face as her response. 

_Perfect. Just perfect._

Sporting no obvious attitude, more like a tired kitten, the next female cadet made a hesitant step forth. Her hair was long, curling at the ends along her chest in the color of blazened auburn. Eyes reminding Lance of his past Instructor, Adam Wade, his hazel colored eyes flashed before Lance before he refocused to this young cadet, her, Adam’s eyes glinting like a lense that could know all of the truths in the world; Lance couldn’t do anything but feel entranced by her stare. Complexion twinned with Lance’s, he knew she came from a Latin descent, where exactly, he couldn’t pin-point, but he would guess Chilé or Peru. 

“Riley Banderas, I- uh- I’m non-binary so any pronouns is okay with me, 15, present.” She stated her presence so low Lance wasn’t sure if she were hiding confidential information. Or she could just be shy. 

“Banderas? What, you related to that actor, what’s his name- Oh! _Antonio Banderas?_ ” Haru shot out mockingly, cutting roll call thinking he was a funny guy. 

Riley ignored his retort, sending Lance a helpless look. To that, before Lance could do anything, Keith was already on it, punching down a Castle dummy with one single jab. One jab might not seem harmful, but with Keith’s strength, bled into his Galran lineage, the dummy turned into dust. Not actual dust, but it was lying on the floor with a Keith-shaped hole embedded in its chest area. 

Haru’s jaw slackened. 

“Oh sorry, you were saying, cadet?” Keith remarked, stretching his wrist catching Lance’s eyes twinkling at him with a lilted knowing smile. 

He was sure there was a Lance-made puddle in his stead, but he snapped out of it quickly by coughing loudly and finally making it back to his final student. Staring intently at the cadet who was presumed to take over _his_ lion, she made a sway with her face like she was ready to go, “Madeline McKinney, 16, uh-” There was more she wished to share, but held back, “present... _sir_ ” Her crystal blue eyes swayed along with her face, meeting Lance, boring into his own blue eyes. There was something about this girl, and Lance didn’t like the feeling it was giving him. 

Extending his arm towards the final cadet, she grabbed his hand and suddenly a throbbing jolt shuddered through both their bodies, the sound of a loud roar banging in their skulls. Their unknowing jolt didn’t show in front of everyone else, only to Lance and Madeline. 

They shared a fast confused look. 

Did she see what he saw? Did she see Red, too? 


	8. Chapter 8

“Officer McClain?” Madeline poked him.

“Officer Mc-... _hello_?!” Denna hollered, waving an irritated hand in his face.

“Is he...dead?” Riley whispered worriedly.

“No! _You knob,_ he’s not _dead,_ can’t you see he’s breathing?” Haru interjected, glaring down Riley.

“Brain dead, perhaps?” Lucas obliged helpfully. 

“Hey... _Lance._ ” 

Lance jumped out of his deep trance, swinging his head to catch a cluster of smoky indigo stars flickering brightly around an endless pool of black space.

Even if those beautiful eyes belonged to Keith, Lance couldn’t focus on anything else other than that pool of endless black. An infinite void was pulling him in, a darkness he didn’t want to succumb to; be sucked into. Light had to be found somewhere in there, Lance thought, still drilling his stare into Keith’s stare. 

Blinking back into existence, feigning some kind of attempt of a smile slinged at Keith, Lance carried on with the class. What happened when he shook hands with Madeline still clouded his mind. The instant they made contact, he for sure heard and saw Red thrumming through his mind. It was as if Red was trying to tell him something. 

They had shared a confused look, only to shake it away as soon as the others started wavering about getting started, breaking the tension between them. Positively, Lance knew that Madeline saw Red, too, _and_ heard him. There had been a connection made, which could only mean that he would have to sought Madeline out later, one on one. 

“Wasn’t there supposed to be 6 cadets? I specifically remember Shiro addressing that there would be 6 of you?” Keith held up a clipboard, reading off the names under his breath. 

Murmurs of the names that recently were called echoed out in a dark, honey-dripped voice belonging to Keith, and Lance tried hard to not think about how a voice was able to sound like that just by repeating a bunch of names. 

“Bandor Pollux, where is he?” Keith questioned, searching the facility in case the last boy of the group were hiding to fuck with the instructors. It’d happened. Many a times, never funny though.

“Isn’t he that Altean kid?” Denna shot in, playing with her already chewed chewing gum, stretching it between her fingers. 

Lance made a disgusted face, “Cadet Iverson, your gum, _please_. But yeah, Keith..I think I’ve heard about training an Altean youth...Isn’t he Romelle’s younger brother?” 

“How do you know Romelle?” Keith shot back quickly. 

_Shit, shit, shit._ Went a little too far with the familiarity. He should have been more on guard and taken heavy precautions, like Romelle, not that he thought her name would show up during this whole stupid, awful, forgetting him world. 

How to turn this around, “I...don’t _know_ Romelle, like personally.” He tried to laugh it off, “I know _of_ her, and I distinctly remember her being one of the Alteans that came to Earth when you guys, _the paladins_ , came back home after being in space…”

“How did you know she had a brother?” Keith added suspiciously. 

The Cadets circled around Lance and Keith like this were some kind of scene from _Fight Club._ Hesitant, Lance’s voice strangled itself like a balloon losing air, “I... _dude_ , I work at the Garrison! Don’t you think rumor gets around? For sure, the majority of us know who Romelle is, like Allura, everyone knows Allura, the name Romelle has been bounced around us from time to time. She is an alien after all, and I’m pretty sure aliens have become pretty common around here.” 

“Also, she’s hot! That Allura chick is hot, too.” Haru’s unseemingly loud voice slithered into the conversation, the others groaning painfully at his comment. 

Keith rolled his eyes, but with light spirit, chuckling low while his gloved hand dug itself firmly into Lance’s shoulder, “Dude, chill out. I wasn’t interrogating you. It’s just that not many people know that Romelle has a younger brother, that’s all…” 

“They don’t?” Lance squeaked out, then added as his sweaty palm moistened the nape of his neck, “Well then, now ya all know. Besides, how many other Alteans are there at this place? It wouldn’t be hard to figure out who he’s related to.” 

Considering as all the Alteans beared the triangular marks in pastel colors beneath their eyes, it wouldn’t have been hard to spot them out in the facility. 

Allura’s bright pink marks glittered as a filter over Lance’s vision, he wondered if she had forgotten about him, too. Someone must have remembered him, he couldn’t continue lingering in this dark pit of darkness alone. 

Whispers crawled beneath Lance’s skin as he tried to refocus to his whereabouts and what he was supposed to be doing at this very moment. 

Standing his ground, and sensing the hard push of Keith’s fingers still digging into his shoulder, he heard a door creak, both him and Keith, along with the Cadets turned their gazes to bear witness of their new visitor. 

“Uhm- pardon? But is this Officer McClain and Captain Kogane’s flight class? Terribly sorry of my lateness, my sister tried to reason me from being apart in all of this.” An altean boy, _Bandor Pollux_ , Lance most likely assumed, finally entered the party. 

A heavy weight lifted from Lance’s shoulder, but it left him with a stinging sense of absence when Keith strided over to where Bandor Pollux stood looking like an innocent animal by the doorway, peering in and awaiting for guidance. 

“Welcome! You must be Bandor?” Keith clapped the Altean’s shoulder, a tenseness leaping from him by the sudden contact. 

Great, they’re going to have to whip some form of shape into this one, Lance thought, eyeing the poor boy. 

He resembled notably to his big sister, Romelle, although his hair and eye color were a lighter brown compared to her strawberry blonde. But his marks were the same as hers, a bright teal that went well with his fair skinned complexion. Standing somewhat tall, not as tall as Lucas though taller than Haru, Lance had a hunch that he’d become an important asset to this squad.

How so, he hadn’t figured that out quite yet.

“Yo, we gonna get started or keep on staring at Officer McClain?” Haru barked. 

The rest of the squad were still rooted in their well formed line not entirely certain what to do next, casually eyeing each other. Usually during a first lesson after attendance was taken, they’d begin with general fundamental flight procedures. Discuss flight security, what to do when a fighter pilot went down, how to communicate to HQ and with one another, and most important of all...learn to become a team. 

None of the pilots truly knew each other, they had been pulled from different classes, the majority of the small herd taken - _stolen_ \- from Griffin’s class. 

Let’s just say that Griffin wasn’t entirely pleased that his best cadets were pulled forcefully form his class. 

Denna, Madeline and Lucas had all been from Griffin’s class, also known as the advanced fighter pilots class. Madeline was informed by Shiro to be top of that class, followed by Denna then Lucas in third. As for Riley and Haru, they had been working alongside Pidge in weapons technology.

So believably enough, by first appearance, the snarky, bratty youngster was, to acclaimed surprise, a fucking genius. 

“Well?!” Said genius pressed again. 

“Fine. Everyone grab a desk.” Lance said, making a playful pull at his lip, “And think wisely, the desk you choose shall be your permanent assigned seat for the rest of term. So don’t cry to me if you don’t get along with your neighbor.” Lance caught Keith sniggering at his little remark, fighting down the warmth crawling up his throat. 

It was a cage fight as the gang of cadets scrambled toward the quaint corner of quiet desks, now completely taken over by a loud clambering of kids fighting for dominance of the seats furthest in the back. 

“I got here first, take the front of the line little miss perfect.” Haru sneered at Maddie as she draped herself dramatically over his desk. 

“But I can’t be at the front, I don’t everyone to think I’m the class pet…” Maddie frowned. 

Lucas released a low snicker, taking one of the two seats at the front, “No worries, Madeline, I’ll take one of them-”

“And I’ll take the other.” Bandor said, catching eyes with Lucas. 

Finally, after much tug and pull, fighting almost tooth and nail for the spots in the back, everyone had at last settled to their comfort. 

Haru and Maddie furthest in the back, Riley and Denna in the middle row and Lucas and Bandor securing the front. Alright, it may have seemed that this could be a good start at figuring out their positions in their squad. 

“Now.” Lance started. 

Keith had found leisure in a corner, sitting in one of the stools, looking like some kind of exam instructor, monitoring the perimeter. What exactly was Keith’s main purpose here if Lance was the only one going to instruct the kids? 

Shaking the thought away for now, Lance went back into action, but Keith was being so loud. His whole demeanour was screaming: _look at me, I’m looking at you._ Those eyes shining a bright amethyst color, glowing from all the way in the back hard to not take notice. One of his legs had crossed over the other, a gloved hand propped under his visible jawline, almost like he were taking mental notes. 

Enough looking so broody, Lance almost felt a hint of a tremor quake through him because Keith’s expression was so familiar, so, _Keith_. 

“Officer McClain, you’re going brain dead again.” Denna complained, the others agreeing with incomprehensible grunts and hums. 

Lance snapped back to his class, smiling. “Well then, look at that. You’re all so lively still. Woulda thought picking a seat, given the fight I saw, would have beaten to down to the ground. So, let’s jump into it.” 

Class flew by in a jiffy. The cadets chosen for Lance and Keith’s class were, in Lance’s words, blindly chosen. They owned no sense of formality, except with their elders, their authoritative figures, but with each other, their peers, their _own squad_ , they resented one another with a blazing fire made from pure, raw hate. 

Going through procedural protocols, and the fundamentals of flying a fighter pilot and how to use light lances only during a call of emergency was a nightmare. Because first of all, they thought they already knew everything. Sure, they had been cadets for a while, a couple months, but they were still in their first year. 

Granted, these were the best of the best out of the lot, but some things needed repetition, especially when Lance didn’t know any of the kids himself. Haru, one out of two geniuses, he wouldn’t shut up, speaking in everyone’s throat. 

“Shut up, will ya, accent boy.” Denna had laid on him during class. Which resulted in Haru, _that boy_ , pushing his way out of his desk and grabbing his chair up in the air ready to lay it on _her_. 

Keith flew out of his seat pretty quick after that. 

That was why he was sentenced to this doom with Lance. He, and the kids, needed a personal bodyguard. ”Enough!” Keith took Haru’s chair like it weighed nothing, setting it back down on the floor, instructing the boy with a strict finger for him to sit back down, then pointed a new finger at Denna, implicating that he needed to apologize to her. 

“Fine, whatever. I’m sorry you deserved to be chaired in the face.” 

“Apology not accepted, accent boy.” Denna crossed her legs and her arms, sending a sharp swing with her head. 

Lance and Keith shared a hard sigh. 

Maddie darted her hand up in the air. “Yes, Cadet McKinney.” Lance called.

“When do we, like, fly the simulators?” 

“Yeah.” The others echoed around her. 

Keith made a gesture to take this one. “Good question.” He said, tone all placid. Then he pierced a menacing glare at each and every single cadet, stopping up by Lucas’ desk and keeping a long hard stare on Haru, and then on Denna. “You’ll get to fly the simulators once you all understand that you’re gonna have to work along side each other, and understand what it means to become a good team.” 

Easy for him to say, Lance thought mockingly, but again, it did take Keith some time to understand that as well.


	9. Chapter 9

For once ever since this nightmare started, Lance was amused. 

The cadets had their hands up for every waking second, bombarding Keith with questions unknown to man. Who knew teenagers had so many weird questions bubbled up in their brains. Lance was sure all that went on in their noggins were when recess was. 

“Have you ever killed anyone?” Haru shot in, looking all smug while waggling his eyebrows at Denna. 

She responded with a humph, but the others propped up, beaming along pushing Keith to answer Haru’s question. 

Had Keith ever killed anyone? Of course, Lance had taken lives as well. Counting the aliens they met and fought against during their paladin days, Lance could admit that casualties had been made. Even fighting against his own kind, Keith had often been on killing sprees, but for good reason.

All to save his brother. 

Killing was usually never the answer, but sometimes there weren’t any other alternatives. 

Keith’s expression turned from light to dark, like shadows enveloped him. It was obvious that he didn’t want to jump into that topic quite yet with the cadets. First of all, because of their age. Sure, him and Lance weren’t older than 17 when they had been forced to become paladins, and try to save the universe. At such a young age, no one should shake hands with death. 

“I have..” Keith said low, all of the cadets inching their heads closer from their desks. 

Madeline shared a look with Haru, Denna with Riley and Lucas and Bandor had knitted brows. Lance could sense a hint of regret by the way Haru crinkled his eyes. 

“Having been a paladin of Voltron...I had to make certain decisions. And some of them involved…” Keith strained his neck, gritting his teeth. 

Lance thought he saw one of his teeth morph into a fang, his Galra lineage bleeding through his anger. 

“It’s okay, Captain Kogane. We won’t prod too much on that matter.” Madeline said. 

“Yeah...sorry for asking, Cap.” Said Haru, his voice so low he was clearly flustered by having asked such a crass question. 

The air grew dense in the training room. To lighten the mood, Lance clapped his hands. “Okay, any questions that do not revolve around Keith and his job?” 

Not a single hand raised in the air. Lance frowned. 

_Teenagers._

“Okay.” Lance dragged on the vowels, “How about a round at learning to become a team?” 

Still, no one showed encouragement. 

To that, Lance had to suffocate his own attitude. Instead of stomping an angry foot, he, with force, put his hands on his hips, giving the lot a cold, hard stare. “You _will_ learn about becoming a team, and you _will_ do it by my terms.” 

His upper body had bent down a fraction, having caught Lucas’ vibrant green eyes. “Capiché?” Lance asked dead on. 

Lucas swallowed, never breaking eye contact with Lance. “Caphicé, Officer McClain.” 

“Good man. You will run the exercise.” Lance delegated, “Cadet Jacobs, bring your flight squad to the training mat and have them all do the trust fall.” 

“Do the what?” Lucas asked.

Denna smacked her hands on her desk. “Trust fall!? You expect any of these losers to catch all of this?” She now presented her whole self with the flow of her hands. 

“I can catch ya, chicks always fall for me.” Haru blew a kiss. 

More regret erupted in the form of a yelp when Denna caught the boy in a chokehold. “De-na!” Haru choked out her name, slapping his desk frantically with his hand. “I-” _Choke_ , “Yield.” _Choke_. 

The others just laughed while Lucas and Bandor tried to pry the pair apart. 

Lance’s attention was stolen when Keith made a loud sigh next to him. “Gonna be some project, huh?” He smiled a toothy grin at Lance causing a mass flock of butterflies to flap up a whole storm in the pit of his gut. 

“Lance?” Keith had come closer, the scent of wildflowers sending those fluttering butterflies into overdrive now. 

“Smell amazing..” Lance said in a trance. “Wait, what, huh? _This gang_ -” He saved himself, displaying a half-hearted hand at the gang now wrestling each other on the training mat. 

Taking in the gang doing not what they had been instructed, Lance face-palmed his forehead, scared he’d dented it with the strength of his facepalming. “I’m sure we’ll turn them into fine fighter pilots within time.” Lance then said, reassuring Keith that he hadn’t lost all hope and confidence in them yet. 

He made his way over to the gang, Keith hanging on his tail. “Officer McClain? How exactly do you want us to do this stupid trust fall business?” Denna spat at him, her gum smacking bleating his ears. 

“How about?” Keith interjected. “How about you guys find a partner, someone you tolerate, and then make a game out of it?” 

“We’re listening.” Haru answered for the gang. 

Confidence overflowed Keith, his violet eyes sparking with something that did not smell like warmth for the kids, but rather, a challenge. “Whoever shows the most trust in their partner, gets first dibs on the simulators.” 

That got their attention. “Really? So, like, if we just show that we don’t hate each other we get to fly first?!” Riley, surprisingly, added in all excitedly.

“Yupp. You catch on fast.” Keith said, though Lance wasn't sure if there might have been a hint of playful mockery in there. So unlike him, Lance thought. 

Haru was right on the bat, siding up next to Denna, “We got this, we got this.” He said with that cocky attitude, dusting his hands. 

“We sure do.” She replied by grabbing Haru’s wrist and judo-flipping him on the mat. The others clapped and yelled for her to do it again, the face of horror washing over Haru’s face. 

This was going to take some time, Lance resonated, his mind spiraling into questions like how in the world was this gang qualified enough to become a paladin, let alone fighter pilots. 

His eyes fixed on to Madeline, _the promised one_ . She had paired herself with Riley, a smile blooming along her pink-toned face. She looked so... _normal_ . Not that Lance had any pizazz to offer when he became a paladin, but he did like to believe he was able to _razzle dazzle_ some hearts. 

Guess he would just have to take his time and truly get to know these kids, get to know Madeline on a higher level. Like asking her what she saw and heard when they shook hands. 

“Hey, they’re actually doing it.” Keith’s voice ringed into Lance’s soul, erasing all the despair murking his brain at the moment. 

Lance smiled towards the mat. The kids really were doing it now. Denna took control over Haru, barking orders at him to focus so that they could win first dibs. Madeline and Riley went along like peas in a pod, and Lucas and Bandor...heat flickered lightly on the apples of Lance’s cheeks. He recognized some kind of spark ignited between the two boys. Was he reminded by how him and Keith were?

That couldn’t be, because they detested each other while they were paladins, but coming back home...The soft look shared between the two boys sent more sparks in Lance. So familiar, like looking at a home-video when him and Keith would share intimate conversations sitting on top of the lions, planning the future, asking about their love lives, Lance finally discovering his own feelings for the mullet. 

Lost in translation yet again, Lance hadn’t gathered that Keith was trying to talk to him. “You say anything?” Lance asked, slapping a nervous hand on the nape of his neck, biting his lower lip like an idiot. 

The kids were too preoccupied falling into each other’s arms, or cackling like hyenas trying to trick each other to fall on their butts on the mat. As children should be doing, but they were cadets, they should be taking this seriously. 

“I was just wondering..” Keith started, but he barked a command at the gang first for them to haul ass and do it properly or else they’d never become a team. It woke their spirits from beyond the grave as they all straightened, apologized and, to Lance’s amazement, did the exercise properly. Was kinda thrilling, seeing Keith go all strict like that. “Sorry, my captain instincts got through…” He cleared his throat. “-as I was saying, you doing anything after class? Erhm, like later tonight?” 

Shock blew up in Lance’s pupils, he could not show off any excitement. _Remember, you’re still forgotten, but going on a date with Keith should be okay._ It would be nothing other than fine and dandy, Lance convinced himself, since then he could try to find Red through Keith, finally. 

“What were you thinking?” Lance said nonchalantly, trying so hard not to feign any hint of overexcitement, though a mini-Lance was dancing in his skull. 

A hip bumped lightly against Lance’s hip, a wave of heat searing beyond the material of his pants. God damn, he had it bad. “Nah, just thought I’d show you around outside the Garrison...like, on my hoverbike?” 

So, he wanted to kill Lance, _again_?! 

Not that he would remember. But the first meet with Keith was hard to forget. Since it involved kidnapping - saving - Shiro from a weird facility and hopping on Keith’s hoverbike for escape, to which Lance distinctly remembered that Keith didn’t know the appropriate dial of speed. In other words, Lance almost died riding with Keith. 

Hence, in the end, Lance wasn’t sure he was up for a second chance at life. “Yeah, I’d love to.” He beamed. 

_Stupid, Lance. You’re in too deep._

“Cool.” Keith said, grinning. 

“Cool.” Lance said back, grinning doubly. 

“That’s all cool and dandy, but can the two of yous love birds stop staring all lovey dovey at each other for, like, _two_ whole seconds and decide on who has the best trust fall?” Madeline was the one to break the connection. 

Lance felt his face pinched up roughly at the accusation, being caught off guard and on duty too, so unprofessional. But, Keith just let that slide with a warm, deep laugh, “Not a prob, Cadet. Okay, show us what you got!” He prompted, and the gang showed off their well-practiced trust falls.

And to Lance’s bewilderment, the gang did just so. Falling nicely in each other’s arms with their eyes close, trusting their partner. No one bickering, no one tricking the other to the floor. Haru may had said something lewd again to Denna but she proved tolerance, by a hair though as she jabbed his rib with an angry finger, a new yelp cradling out of his throat. The others just laughed at that, switching places to prove yet again that they had this down to a tee. 

“Perfect. As it should be.” Keith said loud and proud. 

Their faces were priceless. Being given praise and recognition from a paladin, and a Captain of the Blades, would do that to one. Even Lance could feel how proud they felt emanating from them to him. “I agree. Good job, Cadets. Next time we’ll gradually begin with simulations. Team Lucas and Bandor at the wheel first.” 

Groans battled out of the other cadets, but fair was fair. Lucas and Bandor proved to be the most trusting in each other. Lance chanced a look at Keith. He was busy ending the class, his hands waving around, all snuggled up in his fingerless gloves, looking all strong and bold in his red uniform. 

The cadets, Lance could already notice how much they would look up to Keith. How stoic he was, that he could be strict but caring at the same time. He was truly a leader, a leader to follow. Someone who Lance wanted to follow. Whom he wish would have wanted to follow Lance, too, when he had been anointed leader of Voltron. 

“Class dismissed.” Keith informed, and the cadets herded out faster than grade school kids running towards an ice-cream truck. 

Phasing out of his stupor, Keith’s striking face covered Lance’s vision. He hadn’t recognized that the kids were nowhere to be seen, already flung out of the room, because, well, this was still considered school, and no one wanted to stay behind voluntarily. 

Looking at Keith, memories still kept on pouring in Lance’s mind, like a well brimming over, but still continuing to fill him up. His scar for one, was ever so prominent. Keith received his scar while saving his brother, Shiro, fighting him almost to the death when he was considered an evil clone at the time in which they called him Kuro. Devastatingly, Keith’s lineage had taken control of his body and the scar was formed all along his right cheek. At times, when enough anger curdled his blood, his eyes would light up yellow and fangs could protrude from his gums, but that was rarely. But Lance remembered, that one time. 

And he’d never forget it. 

“So?” Keith said, dragging on the vowel, angling his head a fraction. 

Lance mirrored his angled head, “So, what?” He quirked a thin brow up. 

Keith rolled his eyes teasingly, pushing Lance lightly on his chest, “How about that ride?” 


	10. Chapter 10

Amazingly, to anyone’s astonishment really, Lance survived riding with Keith.

It was barely, though, because Keith still hadn’t learned how to release his foot on the pedal, acceleration was all that had been on his mind. He loved his freaking hoverbike, driving faster than Lance could have remembered from his last death-ride with the mullet. 

They’d found refuge on a lonely cliff, spreading a fluffy blanket on the smooth surface, looking out at the beautiful sunset before them, dipping behind the rocky mountains with its lovely warm scheme of orange and yellow hues. 

Bitingly, it reminded Lance too much of an important memory he had. The two of them right now, in this moment; the memory was an exact replica of it; them both sitting about a foot from each other, Keith leaning his elbow over his knee, Lance sitting cross legged sans that ridiculous armor getup Coran fashioned him in. He could picture it so easily: Keith by his side and talking with him; about their futures, Lance panicking about his date with Allura, but Keith reassuring him it would go by swimmingly. Which it did, and they wounded up dating for a while, but deep down, both him and Allura knew it wasn’t meant to be, and that they were better off as good friends. 

_Allura._ She was the one who got Lance to turn his head around. Think about who it was who really took up space in his heart. 

He wondered where Allura was now, what she was doing and if she- if she remembered him. Probably not, knowing that Pidge, Matt, Sam and Shiro only reported to him as _Officer McClain_ , and not Lance. He’d just become a black void in their memories, and light was nowhere to be found to shine upon it at the moment. 

“Hey, you’re spacing out alot, everything alright?” The darkness overcoming his sight grew bright again, angling his gaze from the now set sun to Keith’s alluring, yet troubled gaze. 

Staring back into Keith’s eyes, a waft of calmness expanded pleasantly in Lance’s chest. Darkness might reside within both him and the mullet, but staring into the nebula of tittering stars, Lance knew that for the moment, he was okay. “Everything’s just...fine.” He breathed out, easing his way down on the soft blanket, laying down on his side, flicking his gaze back up to Keith.

Observing Keith, Lance did notice that his hair had gotten longer, much longer, resting gently past his shoulders. Lance took note that Keith liked to keep it loose when he could. Even during their ride to the death, his long raven hair flew freely in the wind. Majestic, he looked so cool, balancing on his feet while steering his ride, Lance glued to his seat with his arms tightly wrung around Keith’s waist, praying for survival. 

A small smile curled on Lance’s face. He felt, it was weird to say taking his situation into consideration, but he felt content. Right now, at this very moment with Keith staring peacefully out along the gorge before them, the mountains tracing the horizon giving them a perfect picture to paint, Lance never wanted this night to end. 

“Hey, Keith?” Lance said. 

“Yeah, bud?” Keith replied.

This Keith right here, he knew it wasn’t really _his_ Keith. It was like getting to know him all over again. Granted, Lance already knew a lot about his friend, his former rival. But, he could start over with the get to know each other business, make it more formal, more proper. No fighting, no mullet biting back ferociously at every retort Lance replied with just to get under Keith’s skin. Even if that was what made them _the_ Lance and Keith, neck and neck, it wasn’t and wouldn't become _this_ Lance and Keith. This Lance and Keith could be something more... _more_. 

Lance couldn’t quite put his tongue on what more really meant, but he knew that he wanted something beyond that, something that would create a new space in his heart for this Keith, too. You know, if he had to lose this Keith as well when the time came. If it ever did come to that, he was prepared to abide and lose one of these Keiths, welcome the pain it'll bring him. 

Wincing away these spiderwebs of thoughts, Lance went back to what he originally had planned to do. “So..” Lance started, “We haven’t really, like, gotten to know each other that...much?” 

“Right.” Keith smirked, making his own path down to Lance’s laying level, shaping his cheek with his palm, combing his long hair with his fingers. “What do you wanna know about me?” 

That was a question that could bring many-a-answers, Lance conceded, thinking long and hard on his answer. “Everything.” He blurted. 

Funny, Keith looked stunned for the first time in his life. “Everything?” A loud cackle of a guffaw kicked out of him, “What does that even mean!? Like, you wanna know my shoe size?” 

_It’s 7.5_ , the boy has small feet. Lance doubted that his small feet meant that other things were small on him, though. 

Fuck, Lance could feel a prickle of a blush creeping up on his cheeks at that sudden lewd thought. Fighting those urges away, he resided on his first real answer, “Okay..tell me about your..childhood.” He proposed, rolling to his stomach, his own smirk leering along his tan face. 

Was it too much to ask Keith about his childhood? Lance knew some about it; that he was abandoned by his mother, left to live alone with his father in the middle of the desert for God knew how long- but Lance felt like there was more than meets the eye. 

Keith twitched an eye, almost like it were a pinch of a wince, but he shared, “My childhood.” He sat back up, leaning on both his palms resting behind his back. “I became an orphan when I was 12, Shiro, he took me in after that, enrolled me into the Garrison, that’s where you and I met- not officially, I was always in the back, hiding from the rest of the world. But before that…” Dark shadows cast over his eyes, “As you might know now, my mother is Krolia, former leader of the Blades, whom I lead now. She...left me when I was born, but I thought for a long time it was because she didn’t love me.” He paused. 

Lance forced his hand to stay put, even if he wanted nothing more than to grab Keith’s hand, entwine their fingers reassuring him that it all went okay in the end. Figured, he knew he couldn’t do that, it would spark a new wave of mysterious questions, and Lance didn’t have the stomach for that right now. 

“Sorry, Keith..guess it’s our first instinct if a parent leaves to believe that it’s because they don’t love us..” Lance didn’t know where to go on from there. He knew the rest of Keith’s story, but he couldn’t continue it for him.

Braving his way, Keith took a stray lock of Lance’s bangs between his fingers, playing with it, his rosy lips fighting for a smile, “My father, before he died, always told me that my mother loved me, that she left to protect us. But he never could tell me why, said I’d understand when I was older.” 

“Then you became a paladin.” Lance resonated. 

And Keith finally smiled. “Then I became a paladin.” 

“How was that like?” Finally, those shadows withered away as light shone brightly on Keith’s beautiful, starking face. 

He beamed, literally, at the question. “Adventurous. Enlightening. Necessary.” 

“What’s with the one word answers, give me stories!” Lance prompted, now rolling on to his back. Above him all he could witness was a kaleidoscope of shimmering stars.

_Humans are like stars, shooting stars, temporary, but burning brightly._

He smothered an oncoming frown, he didn’t want to be a temporary star in Keith’s vision, he wanted to be like the moon, the sun, shining forever, never forgotten. The threat of an upside down smile dissolved, the smell of earth, dirt, violets and body spray wafting in the air, tickling Lance’s senses. 

Keith brought him back with his chipper voice going on about a plethora of adventures he had been on with the other paladins; Lance’s friends, his family. The adventures that were shared were common knowledge to Lance, but he reacted like one should when Keith told about something scary, or something shocking; or like that one time Coran demonstrated the cry of the yalmor. Lance cried laughing at that one, remembering it like it was yesterday. But to Keith, Lance was never present in any of these stories. He even left out that one time Keith had been bitten by a love-bug. That one was only a tale under four eyes, as none of the other paladins had been there when it happened. 

Had been there when Keith kissed Lance. 

Under a spell that is. Keith’s cheeks had been painted bright pink, his whole demeanor shifted into the ways of a person in love. Lance had always believed that once bitten by a love-bug you instantly fell in love with the first person you laid eyes on, and since Lance was the only person in Keith’s vicinity, it had to be him. 

Maybe it was a good thing Keith didn’t remember that one. If he had remembered it, he could have retold the story differently. Like, if it were Pidge he fell in love with, Allura, or even Hunk. 

Keith came out to them as gay pretty late; after the war. It took alot of courage to come out. He had gathered all of the paladins to the meeting room, setting everyone down, facing him as he stood strong and tall. Stoic as ever. Then he looked them all in the eyes, and told them he was gay. 

Nothing changed after that. Except for Lance’s feelings for him. 

“Dang, you guys went through _alot_!” Lance said, lifting his chin to catch an upside down Keith, feeling the tickle of his brown bangs splaying to the side of his face. Keith was smiling, widely. God, he looked so content Lance wanted to hop on his knees and hug the boy, cradle him in his arms, see if he liked that. 

With the voiding space between them, Keith lingered his stare on Lance’s, lips parting slowly, but he closed them again like he had a second thought. Instead he said, “We sure did.” That was it, he broke their connecting stare, looking out at the gorge again, maybe reminiscing. 

But his brows were knitted, the worried lines smacked in the middle displaying that Keith was searching for something, or someone, still. 

“Keith.” 

“Hmm?” He didn’t move, just kept his gaze locked on the horizon, sending his eyes to the stars. 

“Can you tell me anything else about you?” Lance probed. It was dark, getting late, but Lance needed answers, _real answers,_ like where Red was, if he could spark a new recognition inside of him if he tried plotting details about him in Keith. 

Still on his back, a breezing wind shuffled along Lance’s cheeks, creating goosebumps. “I’m gay.” Keith chided, his voice elated. 

That was another way to come out, Lance thought, rising up to a sitting position, facing Keith. Almost like the last time he came out, except they were alone, out in the freezing cold desert, a blanket of stars protecting them from the universe and their eyes finally reconnecting. “You’re gay!” Lance repeated, happily. “I’m bisexual.” He then shared. 

“Cool.” Keith answered.

“Cool.” Lance answered back, doubly. 

Was this where they kissed now? 

“Keith, who’s the leader of Voltron?” Lance interjected this touching moment. 

Kissing Keith would have been _the bomb_ , but he knew that was a _big_ no-no. It could fuck a lot of things up when it came to memory loss. And Lance knew he didn’t want to exploit Keith’s amnesia of their conversation. With Keith coming out to Lance like that, it was obvious that he was showing interest. This right here, them going on that fatal ride, sitting on a mother effing blanket under a beautiful night sky; it screamed _date!_

Lance couldn’t. He could not use Keith’s feelings like that. Even if he wanted to, badly, it would be wrong. W-R-O-N-G. Wrong. 

“The leader? Why do you need to know?” Keith mumbled, uncertainty blurring his features. 

“I just want to know. Is it Shiro? You? This missing paladin?” He was putting words in Keith’s mouth. For the love, just try to remember, Lance pleaded. 

Keith shook his head, his long hair flying at the tips. “I can’t recall- We don’t...it used to be Shiro, but then-”

“Yeah?” Lance pushed. 

Evidently, Keith sighed through his nose, his shoulders slumping, eyes lidding. “I don’t know, Lance. All I know is that I’m not the leader anymore...I used to be, Shiro used to be, but someone else took that position once I became captain of the Blades. But who it is- my brain- my memory is turning into this fuzz again-” His hand was pressing on the side of his head, face looking distraught. 

He wouldn't pry, not for much longer. Seeing Keith like this, looking so vulnerable as he was fighting with his mind, trying to pluck the important answers hidden away in plain sight. Lance could relate, he too wanted answers. His brain might not be fuzzy like Keith’s, or Pidge’s, or Shiro’s, and Matt and Sam and maybe Allura and Hunk. Too much, yes, this was all too much, and too soon, he equated at last. 

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to pry. I’m a nosy guy.” Lance tried to lighten the mood, sending a blue wink to Keith, “You should know that about me.” His nose sloped up to the dazzling sky, “I like attention, showing off, being nosy, _razzle-dazzle_ some hearts-” 

Keith stiffened, his eyes expanding. 

“Keith?” Lance dared a hand on his shoulder, shaking him lightly. “Keith?!” He was completely still, like a robot being switched to off. 

Did it happen again? _A recognition?_

Then he blinked. His hand immediately catching his forehead, “Sorry, I feel like someone dropped an anvil on my head.” 

“You look like it, too.” Lance chuckled. 

Keith peered under his hand, “Shut up.” 

“Make me.” 

“Alright.” 

Panic blared in all sorts of signs on Lance’s body as he saw Keith coming close. His eyes started to lid, mouth puckering; _abort, abort!_

“Holy shit, look at the sky!” Lance shouted, Keith following his finger pointing towards the moon. 

“What is it?” 

Lance shrugged nonchalantly, “You just missed it.” 

Narrowing his eyes at Lance, Keith said, “But what was it?” 

“Shooting star.” Lance smiled. 

Believable enough, that shooting star pummeled through the sky right on cue. It shined brightly and burning as it painted the sky with its long, white tail. Lance had made a wish. He woudln't tell anyone about it, but he hoped it came true. 

“How about we head back, I’m starving.” Already on his feet, Lance extended his hand down to Keith. Their palms connected, slotting perfectly like two pieces of puzzle. Lance’s heart leaped into an unsettling rhythm when he felt the warmth protruding from keith’s palm flow into him; he never wanted to let go. 

With a little hop after being pulled up, Keith made a beeline for his hoverbike. Lance stayed back a tick, displeasure ruptering all of his nerves. Was it obvious? Could Keith see the resentment paving on his face? 

“Come on, Lance! It’s just back to the Garrison, I’ll drive safely.” Keith reassured. 

One loud escape of an exasperated sigh and Lance trudged his way over to Keith’s death-machine. “Promise?!” He exclaimed while Keith stood ready on his bike, his hands gripping the steering and revving the engine. 

His face was all sorts of nuances of adorable, “Just hold on tight.” 

Yeah, no shit, don’t need to tell him that twice. Lance grabbed Keith’s waist, pulling him close, the space between Lance’s stomach and Keith’s back being filled, and then they were off. 

***

Dinner, _chapter two_ , was slightly better. Lance got to sit with Keith at his table this time. Around him he was seated with Pidge, Shiro and Matt. They all welcomed Lance like he had been a part of their gang forever. Which he had though, they had all just forgotten that part. 

Shiro slapped Lance’s back. He held back that shattering wince, when the cat-eyed man twinkled at Lance, “So...how’d the date go with my lil’ bro?” 

Date. So, guess it had been considered a date. But did that mean him and Keith were... _dating_? Didn’t think people DTR’d that stuff until after the third date. “It went, well-” Lance shambled, not sure what to tell this man; his friend, but boss as of this moment. 

“He lived. Not alot of people ride with me, or even live to tell the tale! So that’s considered a _good_ date.” Keith approved, flashing an indigo wink at Lance. 

Pidged bellowed at that, staring at her fork. “Keith never lets anyone on his bike!” She cast her honey-brown eyes to Lance, wanting him to read her expression. It was saying that he was special to Keith. 

Damn, and Keith was special to him, if only he really knew that. The real Keith. 

Lance found it... _awkward,_ sitting at the table with his usual gang. This was his family, minus three more important people, and they were all chatty and including, but it still didn’t feel...right. That void in their minds was still there, growing larger and larger by the second while Lance sat here doing nothing to figure out how to shine any form of light in there. 

“When is date numero dos?” Matt chimed, his face twisting into one of adoration at him and Keith, waggling his brows and making kissy faces with his hands clasped together. 

Ever the doting sister, Pidge pinched her brother's nose harshly and smacked her pasta-filled fork in his face. “Matt! Leave them alone. Don’t make it awkward for them, they work together now. They have to see each other every day! It’s good for them that their first date went well.” 

“Fine, I’m sorry. I’m not gonna play matchmaker Holt...although it’s pretty obvious that they got it bad for each other.” He stated. 

Keith caught eyes with Lance, lifting one single brow, a goofy smile quirking along his lips. He wasn’t denying Matt’s statement, and the look he was giving Lance screamed so loud that he was most certainly right. A++ to Mr. Matthew Holt! 

With a cluster of different aromas coming from everyone’s dinner, Lance felt his stomach quake. Either it be from that, or that what he had been trying so hard to avoid deemed itself extremely, terrifically unavoidable. 

He quenched a groan by chugging a glass of water, slamming the glass on the table and wiping his mouth. “I never said it was a date. Keith just asked me for a ride and I said yes. We talked-” 

“Looked at the sunset.” Keith intervened happily. 

Lance sent him a glare, “Looked at the sunset, chatted a bit more, got to know each other better-”

“Oh yeah.” Matt cooed darkly, shoulders reaching his ears when Pidge swatted him again. 

The notion of him and Keith on a date needed to go away. If he wanted them to regain their memories, him and Keith were not meant to go out. Not like this. Maybe not ever since Keith turned him down when he confessed. “Can we just go back to our dinners, talk about god knows what’s on the agenda and keep this dating business between me, and my colleague.” 

“Let’s go on a second date.” Keith piped up. 

For the love of- stay calm, Lance. He wanted to look all calm and collected, smoothing his hair by running his hand over it, but all he did was stuff his face with dinner, point his fork at the red devil and say through a mouth full of food, “You’re gonna have to earn yourself a second date!” And now that all of that spat out, together with his food, Lance had to bask in the excited face Keith made. 

“I’ll take you up on that offer, Officer McClain.” He chimed in. 

Lance couldn’t take back the offer either. He took a new bite of his food, acclimating into conversation with his _new_ friends. While Matt ran his mouth about this new Altean tech they were given a few weeks ago, Lance chanced a glance at his friend. A second date didn’t seem that bad, as long as it didn’t go further than that. 

“Lance!!” Someone shouted with a booming voice. 

Everyone around their table, dominoing around all the other tables, even their class, whipped their heads at the kitchens. “Lance!!! I heard the news!!!” Hunk came sprinting to their table, out of breath after two runs, doubling over his knees then kicking back into gear with half the speed he had a first. 

Hunk. Hunk was calling for Lance. Like he hadn’t forgotten him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lol, that one quote was loosely taken from a book. I love it and felt it fit here in this chapter! 
> 
> Do you think Hunk remembered Lance?
> 
> Update!   
> Sorry for not writing more chapters! I promise I have not abandoned this fic! I have the whole outline, just hard finding inspiration to write lately. I've got half of chapter 11 written, so look forward for the next chapter some time during next week. (From March 9th-)


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the long wait! I went through a rough writer's block (still am, ugh) but I got around to writing this chapter, yay! 
> 
> Sorry if the writing is horrendous (I feel it is, but that's me), I don't think I can revise it any better so this is what you're getting. 
> 
> Don't know when the next chapter will be up, it'll be long too to say it like that. So yeah! Enjoy, or well, don't get too sad.

Hunk didn’t remember Lance. 

There was, deceivingly so, an absence of light, Lance concluded at last. Not just in Hunk, Keith, Shiro, you name it, but in all of them. And it was continuing to suck away all that remaining light he felt he was holding on to for dear life. 

As soon as Hunk shouted Lance’s name, in a familiar tone, there was that acute sense of absence in the way he looked at Lance, just, not like his Hunk would look at him. Sadly, by the time before Hunk even reached their table, Lance sort of already knew that his hopes and dreams for a friend to remember him was out the window. Smothered, like blowing out a candlelight. Too good to be true, Lance knew in the state he was in now, there was no way anyone had remembered him. Unless, he of course tried to find Red. Which he still hadn’t been given any intel on his location since Keith had to be so freaking forward with his seductive ways in the art of flirtations. 

Over the cacophony of chitter chatter around the table, Hunk heavily snaked an arm over Lance’s shoulder, leaning in, his whisper almost as loud as Keith’s flirting. “So..I heard the news.” He whispered, trying to be discreet, but Keith was sending both him and Hunk a teasing smirk reading exactly what the big guy was implying to Lance. 

The moment Hunk bombarded their table, Shiro made room for him to plop down next to Lance. He thought in that moment that Hunk was going to devil up about the Altean tech they found, or, talk about his little confession with Keith-before the memory wipe. Since, well, Hunk was the one who convinced and practically forced Lance to ask Keith out on a date instead of pining for him from afar all the time. 

In other words, Hunk was dead tired of Lance’s constant woes about his love for the mullethead. “What news?” Lance quirked a brow at his best friend. Well, best friend was an uncertainty at the moment. He had no idea what he was to Hunk now that his memory was wiped of Lance, but at the same time, it seemed like Hunk acted like he usually did around Lance, so maybe he still was good friends with him- just no paladin business on his end. 

Hunk’s burnt almond eyes sparkled first at Lance, then twinkled on over to Keith, continuing on being so overtly loud. So, that much he knew, Lance sighed as prudent as possible not to draw any unwanted attention about the dating Keith matter. 

The thing about dating Keith was stuck to Lance like baby ducks following their mother. If Lance tried to keep on the down-low and not hint that he liked Keith like that, then that only drew more attention to Keith. In conclusion, he knew he couldn’t avoid not dating Keith; as Keith bounced on back at Lance with his million dollar smiles and very freakish, and out of character, flirting. 

To which, in the end, they had wounded up going on one date. _One_ date. Lance didn’t know if he could consider their date a _date_ date, though. All they did was try not to die on his hover bike and share a meal relaxing on a picnic blanket and watch the sunset together, discussing their lives. And coming out to each other, just to make sure they were on the same level of where their sexual preferences laid- and, _Jesus,_ guess that was the loudest indicator that it most certainly _was_ a date. A _date_ date. 

With Keith laying it straight out that he was gay, and Lance of course firing off momentarily that he was bisexual. Stupid, Lance. He should have just said good for you and then not have said anything else. Just smiled, and then stopped. But him and his big mouth. 

Confidently, Lance did want this Keith to know he liked guys, too, in the hopes that they could get to together if his life was bolted to this amnesia alternate universe. Sooner or later, evidently, he’d have to make a new move on Keith and see where they could go from there, but the universe wanted it a little earlier than planned, he guessed. 

Lance huffed out an aggravated, very consequently breath, catching both Hunk and Keith’s attention. Waving it off, Lance said, “Sorry, just tired and still a little shook after our date.” 

“It was a date! Oh, Lance, I’m so happy you two worked it out.” Hunk grabbed him into a suffocating bear hug. 

If only this hug were a celebration in his actual world, where everyone remembered him and his time-slot as a paladin, and that they were hugging because Keith returned Lance’s feelings not walk away muttering a weak _I’m sorry, Lance_ , literally stabbing Lance in the chest with his Galra blade. 

He felt bad too after his confession because Hunk had given him such a good pep-talk. 

They were in Lance’s room at the time, a day’s time before he went on the date with Keith. Lance had been moping around all day drowning in his daily woes and sorrows of how grizzly and hot Keith looked and how much he hated that he was clearly _in love_ with the hothead. In the end, Lance’s wallowing got under Hunk’s skin and he convinced him that if he didn’t just confess his feelings for Keith already he would keep on stacking those feelings up like unread documents, tipping over in spilled ink ruining everything that could have been. 

At last, Lance had gone to Keith and asked him if they could talk. Not go on a date. Just talk. But Lance and his big mouth, everything, all those stacked up feelings he had piling up on each other, drowned in ink. 

But then, the inevitable happened. To his own fortune? No know knew yet, but Lance would continue to mull upon it as he had no other choice. 

Life most definitely was a blade to the chest sometimes. Maybe this amnesia thing was better than Lance thought. Or maybe not. 

“See, Keith. Our talk worked out after all.” Hunk suddenly shared, and it stirred an ominous beat in Lance’s heart. 

Talk? _They_ had the talk? So that meant that since this could be some kind of alternate reality, Hunk was the one who went to Keith to convince _him_ to ask Lance out and not the other way around. 

“ _You’re_ the friend…” Lance said low with realization, pointing a shaky finger at Hunk. 

The smell of violets surged Lance’s brain, “See, I told you.” Keith blubbered at Lance, smirking coyly like he had been right all along. 

Damn this treacherous memory loss, everything was lining up perfectly but nothing was making any sense either. Lance was just this pawn placed on a chessboard without any predetermined strategy to play around with. No one knew _of_ him, but everyone _knew_ him. 

How messed up was that? 

Lance tried to force out a small laugh, “Guess I was dreaming.” He winced, sensing at how unintelligent that sounded, but what else could he blame it on? 

“Guess so.” Keith stretched his arms then smoothly landed one of his hands on Lance’s shoulder, Hunk on his other side waggling his eyebrows at them. 

So they’re really a couple now, or what? Lance couldn’t do this, it hurt his heart too much. All of that contained despair was trickling out of him ounce by ounce in the form of Lance’s decaying heart, the darkness within him growing and growing ready to envelope his real presence. 

Swiftly avoiding Keith’s cute lingering stare on Lance, he turned to Hunk. “So, Hunk, how you been doing lately? How’s Shay?” He asked, praying that Hunk was at least still together with Shay in this Lance-less universe. 

Hunk beamed luckily at the mention of his girlfriend, they were happily so, still together, so nothing had changed there. And she was still very pregnant with their first child. Something lurched in Lance’s stomach at the remembrance of his best friend becoming a father. Would Lance still be godfather? He had no idea and didn’t want to take any chances asking either, just in case. 

Memory loss or no memory loss, everything, ominously, stayed exactly the same. There were only some minor changes in Lance’s own memory. Like his chat with Hunk before the date. For some reason, he had gone to Keith and talked with him, but that still could’t plot out the idea that this wasn’t an alternate reality. It could still be _his_ reality and that something was disrupting the timelines? 

He needed Red. Connect to him and see if he had any answers, that it could be unearthly reasons for his friends’ amnesia. “Lance!” Shiro dragged him out of his endless stupor of enfolding darkness. 

Dinner was pretty much over, but they lingered at their table as there wasn’t anything work protocol related until the morning when him and Keith had to yet again continue their lessons with the cadets. His gaze slowly swung to Shiro, trying with all his might to keep his lips tugged upwards, waiting for him to go on. “So, how did the first lesson go?” He smiled. All Lance could stare at was the well-known scar that ran horizontally across his nose, noticing, as the years had gone by, that it was almost completely faded. 

Lance’s eyes then wandered over to Shiro’s arm; still the Altean one that was made for him, and Allura’s blue crystal must still be the source for its activation. Again, everything was still the same. “It went well!” He responded, a little too chipper than he would had want his tone to be. “The cadets are-” 

“Some bunch, huh.” Keith joined in, his arm tightening around Lance’s shoulder. The overpowering smell of a violet farm so close to short-circuiting his brain. Let alone how his long locks were tickling his cheek, brushing idly by while he bumped heads with him while he chatted away with his brother. 

Not that Lance minded Keith hurdling into their conversation, he was one of the instructors after all, but the closeness between them. It had to stop. Lance’s heart could only take so much at a time. “Y-yeah.” Lance stuttered, keeping his heart at bay while bumping hips with Keith. His sultry, thick hips; if they kept on bumping hips Lance might also break out into a song about them. 

Objectifying Keith was so wrong of him, but his attraction was yet again downgraded to just that at the moment, attraction. If he wanted everyone to regain their memories he couldn’t converse with him like he was in love with him. Because if they did end up becoming serious, he didn’t know how his heart would be able to deal with the loss of this Keith’s memory being wiped away. He just knew his heart wouldn’t be able to process that loss either...finally have obtained what he had been pining for all this time and it turns out to be a Keith he doesn’t even know, and yet, he would still be in love with him- then to lose him to a new memory loss- or, in this case, regaining his memories and fall out of love with him. 

No.

He couldn’t risk that. 

Not one bit. 

Once Lance sweeped over those heavy thoughts, him and Keith went into a crash course about their lively gang. Not that they were favorising or anything, but Keith went all out on Haru. His blinding smile tugged wide when he explained how wild that kid was and how his behavior resembled somewhat to Lance’s. 

“How does that brat have the same personality as me, you hardly even know me.” Lance accused, leering deeply at his side companion, Shiro grinning across from them. 

The others had left for their evening duties. Hunk had a restaurant to close up, and prep for breakfast before going home to Shay and their baby to be. Pidge and Matt also left to work with tech duty; top secret information, was what Matt chided sending a knowing wink to Lance. Yeah, he got it, he wasn’t a paladin so he wasn’t authorized to hear about it. No need to rub salt in the wound. He was wounded enough. 

Keith flipped his long hair over his shoulder, projecting some attitude. “Don’t tell me you were not like him during our time as cadets in the Galaxy Garrison?” He released a sharp nasally breath like a guffaw.

“ _Our_ time as cadets? What, with the little time we had before you got booted off the program?” Lance countered, a little surprised by the statement. 

“Booted?” Keith furrowed his brows. 

And Shiro mirrored him, light grey brows meeting in the middle. “Lance, what are you talking about? Keith came out top of your class before he was dragged into the paladin business, and you were right behind him.” 

_Fuck_. Another reality change. Did this really happen, or was the amnesia getting worse? 

How the hell was he going to talk his way out of this one? Surely, Keith must had been booted from the Garrison in all realities? Inevitability. That was how it was. Not to change any other realities, some details remained untouched. And Lance thought this was one of those details. Keith getting booted. If he hadn’t gotten booted, he wouldn’t had become this tough guy figure- _fuck_ , that explained it. Explained _this_ Keith.

This Keith was the Keith who never got booted. The golden boy, the goody-two-shoes. How strange and odd intermixed into the obscene. 

Staring at Keith’s estranged glare at Lance, he could tell. This was not his Keith at all. They might look the same, act the same during rare occasions, but if the details had been switched up, then the Keith sitting next to him was an entirely different person. At least, he would think to believe so. There was still too much to figure out about this whole debacle taking place. 

So fucking stressing. 

“I- I’m sorry, something’s been pinching violently at my brain lately. I may still be asleep or something.” Lance said with a new small laugh, nervously plucking his way out of this confuddlement. 

Shiro smiled. “Could be similar to what we’re going through. You know, with _the lost paladin_.” 

That was when Keith, yet again, stiffened. His eyes shot open like someone punched him in the gut, thick bushy brows knitted so hard he looked like he needed medical assistance for a split-second. Another recognition. _Something_ was fucking with them all, and it needed to stop. _Now._

“Keith?” Lance tapped a hand on his shoulder, pulling him out of his trance. 

“I’m fine. Sorry. This lost paladin business is something, huh?” He started tightening his fingerless gloves with obvious worry, indigo eyes wandering like they were still searching for something. _Someone._

Lance understood that not only had this memory business afflicted Lance, but it was messing around with the paladins as well. Unfortunately, though, Lance had become the source of it all. 

Everyone in the common room had left, leaving Shiro, Keith and Lance as the leftovers. Shiro leaned over his elbow-his real elbow-gaze shadowed by his light gray tuft. “Madeline McKinney, how is she faring so far?” 

“Well, given we’ve only had one lesson, she’s faring above the average expectation.” Lance quipped in. His toes curled at the mention of the cadet that might take his spot, chills racing down his spine to make matters more uncomfortable. 

The case of Madeline McKinney began with the first meeting with Shiro the day Lance woke up all forgotten. She was expected to become the next paladin. Red’s next paladin. Something Lance still found stomach churning every time he thought about it. 

Keith spoke up, “Her in-session records state that she was head of her class. Griffin’s class, which is the upper advanced classes, and she proved as an overachiever. Hence, her being accepted into our class to be instructed by a paladin and the Garrison’s best fighter pilot.” His face angled at Lance when the compliment rolled off his tongue, a lopsided smile gracing his lips. 

Avoiding that smile would take a whole war, and the fluttering butterflies were having their own kind of festivities in Lance’s insides when that smile decided to pulverise him unannounced. 

“Wasn’t the whole class created in consideration for her to learn to become a better pilot and one day take over as Red’s pilot, though?” Lance equated questionably, but Shiro planted a finger at his lips for him to be careful with what he said out loud in the open. 

No one was around, but there were ears everywhere at the Garrison. Shiro pulled his finger away, voice extremely low and secretive, “It was. _It is_. But, she also needs to learn how to work with a team. That’s sort of why we pulled out the best of the best of the best into their own separate class. But she is foretold to be the chosen paladin.” 

_The chosen paladin._ Those words hit Lance like a Galra cruiser in the nuts. Sure, he could abide to this since everyone had forgotten who really piloted Red. But what happened to Madeline and her chosen paladin status the moment everyone regained their memories? Would she just never become a paladin? Would everyone forget about that? Or- would her and Lance have to fight their way to either remain or become the red paladin? Would they have to _share_ Red? 

He winced at the thought. Too much. This was all becoming too much for him again. He needed air and a good night’s sleep before he could ponder over the questions of life. His life for that matter, and Madeline’s. 

“And how did they figure that Madeline was to become the next paladin of Voltron?” Lance shot in for good measure. He needed information and stat. Quite contradicting to his ongoing war in his stomach, but it was now or never he figured. 

Shiro pursed his lips, like he too didn’t know how they decided that Madeline was to become the next paladin. Hell, she was only 16. Wasn’t that too young an age for that much responsibility? Granted, that was a bit of a stretch as Lance had been 17 when he became the blue paladin; guess age wasn’t of any importance here. Since when had it ever been of importance? Pidge had been 15 when she was anointed green paladin for crying out loud!

“We just assumed since she was the best of her class and then some. And when we: Keith, Hunk, Pidge the Princess and I suddenly woke up one morning with this odd sense of-” 

“Loss?” Lance pitched in before Shiro could finish his sentence. 

He looked startled, “Yes. How did you?” 

“Uhm- I think I might have been affected too that day. Two days ago, I woke up with this odd feeling in the pit of my gut- almost like something was…” 

“Missing.” Keith answered for him this time. 

“Yeah.” Lance breathed, looking down at his lap. His fingers had laced together, thumbs twirling over each other ruthlessly. “I don’t know about this missing paladin business, but something affected me that morning and I’ve had it for a while...and this paladin business with Madeline- I’ll do my best to make sure she becomes one hell of a fine pilot.” He smiled at Shiro, to secure him that even though it was their memories that were at state, he’d do his best to abide to this odd reality until he could figure out how to fix it. 

A flourish of warmth stabilized his unkempt stasis when Shiro smiled back with a soft gaze, those cat-eyes looking a perfect and pristine as ever. “Good man.” He bumped a fist at his shoulder. “We-the paladins-understand that something odd’s happening around here. The main issue being the lost paladin. Unanimously, the paladins and I agreed that someone is lost, but whenever we try to pinpoint who it could be our minds seem to work against us-” 

“Going hazy, foggy, at times even painful. Like none of us are allowed to dig that deep yet.” Keith shared, and cast a knowing look at Lance sparking the memory of their date and earlier when Keith tried to explain the matters at hand. 

Shiro made one stern agreeing nod at Keith. “Everything he said is true. The same side-effects happen with me as well, and I can guarantee it would happen to Pidge, Hunk and Allura, too. Therefore, we have to take into account that if the lost paladin isn’t found by the time Voltron is needed again, we know that we have Madeline.” 

“If the Red lion agrees to connect with her, that is.” Lance said, biting hard on the inside of his cheek at that sudden leakage of information that he knew was off-limits to share with these people. These paladins. Whom he was not. 

_Quiznak, quiznak, quiznak!_

His palms had become a fountain, hoping direly that Keith wouldn’t try to snatch one of them and feel his stupid slippage. Keith had his arms crossed, Lance saw, glancing back and forth between the two brothers sharing an odd expression before locking onto Lance. 

Before any of the two could share their thoughts on Lance’s knowing a little too much, he placed his palms on the table, sweat licking the surface. “I- I’m really interested in the paladins. Ever since you guys got back home from space, I’ve been collecting all the information of the lions and the utilizations of them and their relations with the paladins. It’s-” He swallowed, throat feeling dry, then continued, “It’s been a lil’ hobby of mine for a while now.” To save face, he smacked a careless hand on the nape of his neck, grimacing at the sweat beads running down. 

Heart hammering a million miles a second; a beat, then a thousand more, Shiro and Keith shared a new look. First, Keith cocked a brow at his brother, tilting his head a little bit. Shiro returned his brow gesture by narrowing his eyes. Did they think Lance was some kind of spy? That he was in cahoots with some new alien race that wanted to take over Earth now that Voltron was on standby? 

He couldn’t stop his hand making rugburns on his neck, nervously smoothing it side to side, skin beneath his palm going hot. The air around him was growing thick and dense, and Keith’s brow was still holding its spot a little higher up than normal. 

Lance sucked in a deep breath from his nose, his belly rising, keeping his chest leveled not to give away his jittered state. Still at it, Keith and Shiro were having a telepathic, brotherly conversation. Brows lifting, eyes roving about. Then, finally, a corner of Keith’s lips rose as his brow lowered back to normality. Shiro released a sharp breath, slightly amused. 

“Relax, Lance. We don’t think you’re some kind of alien spy.” He waved his hand, eyes bouncing up to the ceiling like it was an exaggeration. 

Lance, though, was slightly unhinged. Could Shiro really read minds? Maybe just very aware and accommodated to his present life, knowing how often he’d been kidnapped by aliens, cloned and then had to save the human race by a witch with a bitter temper. 

Outside, it was total darkness, mirroring everything inside Lance. Inside his mind, his chest, his memories, his friends’ memories. Everything, just, total darkness. He couldn’t be on anyone’s bad side. If he wanted to prove that he too could be a part of their gang regardless of his absence in their current state of mind, he had to play along. And by playing along, he knew he couldn’t risk any more slippages of confidential information that he wasn’t allowed to know. 

His heart jumped when Keith smoothed a comforting hand on his arm, “Yo. Relax. This whole lost paladin business and thing with Madeline, and you too feeling a bit on edge, it has all of us a little bit-”

“Frazzled, yeah.” Lance finished his sentence. 

God, they were finishing each other’s sentences now. Get those wedding bells ringing. 

Keith smiled, and Lance’s whole chest flourished in warmth and pleasantries. He couldn’t take this. Not only had he fallen in love with one of his now closest friends, he'd gone and fallen for Keith 2.0. Nothing in life was fair anymore. 

Repressing a sigh, Lance returned Keith’s smile by covering his comforting hand with his own, biting his lower lip. “I’m gonna head out. I have some ATLAS duties waiting for me, officers to schedule for tomorrow’s lessons and then some. How about we meet up to lunch again tomorrow? It’s great having you around, Lance, I don’t want you to be a stranger. Keith here seems to want to have you around.” Shiro winked at them, then headed out of the common area with his Altean arm hovering above his head waving goodbye. 

“Can I walk you to your apartment?” Keith asked, averting eye-contact. His cheeks seemed to be a little flushed. 

This time, Lance couldn’t repress anything. His lips twirled widely along his face, feeling like the corners were touching his earlobes. The butterflies that were having a rave had dialed it down to slow flutter, one Lance knew how to get by on. He wanted to make eye contact with Keith, sliding a little bit closer so their hips were not bumping anymore but had full on contact. Keith startled a little by the sudden contact, his eyes gliding over Lance’s. “I’d like that.” He smiled. 

When they reached Lance’s door-a small silver plaque that read Lance McClain on it-him and Keith hovered in front of each other for a hot minute. None of them felt like saying good night yet, but Lance knew that if he invited Keith inside, things might happen. And that was a huge red X blinking in his mind. 

But their day had been really great. The date, to his surprise, went surprisingly well. Not dying in a hover bike crash due to Keith's intermediate driving skills, talking like they wanted to know more about each other, some light touching. It had been everything Lance had dreamed of with Keith, and more. 

In front of him, stood Keith, but all Lance could see in that moment were flashes of black, spotting his vision. He felt light-headed, like when you leave the couch a little too fast. The darkness in him wanted to devour him. The more he thought about Keith, the darker his vision became. And the more he thought about wishing Keith had his memories, the more the darkness started to take control. 

And it mustn’t take any form of control. 

A little lost in Keith’s eyes, Lance felt his shoulder hit his door. “Whoops. Got a little woozy there.” He bonked his head. “Loss of sleep these past two days.” 

“I bet.” Keith breathed, looking a little amused. “So.” He stepped closer to Lance when he regained his footing, those punches of a meadow slamming him down. “I was wondering about that second date.” 

Shoot. He forgot all about that. Also, he was hoping that Keith had forgotten about it too, but no luck there. “Yeah? What about it…” Lance dragged, wishing he could unlock his door and make a run for it, but he knew that he would have to face Keith in the morning during class. 

Quiet. His floor danced in total silence, waiting patiently for Keith to go on. To which, Keith stepped even closer, the tip of his nose barely brushing past Lance’s. Fuck. There was no way Keith couldn’t hear the loud pounding of poor Lance’s heart. 

Keith’s breathing slipped out a little uneasy, warming Lance’s lips. That’s how close he was! Back up, Lance, just back up. Impossible. If Lance weren’t stuck in a horrible amnesia bubble, he’d lean in. Instantly. Stealing that one lustful, one longful kiss he’d been dreaming and daydreaming about ever since his heart whispered that he was indeed in love with his rival. 

“That-” Lance cleared his throat, wincing when his voice came out a dab pitchy. “second date-” 

“Yeah?” Keith said hopeful. 

God, looking at his adorable face had Lance floored. Pinned on the spot. The darkness had cleared now that his mind was running on one thought. A second date. 

He really did enjoy their first date. The date that Lance had explicitly screamed at himself was not a date, but, turned out to be a date after all given all the cold hard facts. Wracking his brain, going through other possibilities to shoot him down and concocting excuses to blow him off proved absolutely impossible. As long as they didn’t fall in love. As long as Keith didn’t fall in love with Lance, everything would be alright. Lance had already fallen, hard. Even if this Keith wasn’t the one he used years brawling with both in space and on Earth, he still held the same attributes as him. In looks and in personality. So, okay, yeah, this Keith graduated the Galaxy Garrison as top of his class and has a chill personality that one can tolerate, but he still withheld plenty of the same qualities his Keith had stored deep within. They were just a harder to locate at the moment, but they were there. No reason denying that. At times, this Keith would react like his Keith, the exact same way. Like during their lesson when he snapped at Haru. All hot headed, tempermental Keith. 

So, he was still in there. And Lance knew with all of his unsteady beating heart, that it was impossible to fall out of love with him, because he’d always be in love with him, no matter which version. Hence, this Keith shouldn’t fall for Lance, because then Lance wouldn’t be able to let go of what was so hard to attain in the first place. His friend's love. 

He felt a rushing pulse in his hands, bringing them to Keith’s jacket. Fisting the material and reeling him close, he wrapped his arms around Keith's neck. This way Keith wouldn’t see that he was crying. Just thinking about how much he loved him had him brimming over. And if Keith saw him, he’d start asking questions. Nope. No use going there. 

It was excruciating not to press his lips to his cheek or his neck, and the softness of his friend's hair had his mind spinning. Not only that, how inexplainably broad his shoulders were when he circled his arms around him. “Thank you, uhm-for today, mullet. I had a great time. If you want that second date, we gotta duel for it.” Lance whispered, choking down his oncoming sob. 

The crying had ceased luckily, but to hide the tears he nuzzled his face in Keith’s hair. “Smell good.” He murmured incoherently, and Keith hummed in reply. 

“Like that?” He asked with a low voice. 

Yes. Yes he did. Very much. 

Lance pulled back, Keith’s worried expression telling him that he must be red around his eyes. “I’ll see you tomorrow, mullet. Sleep tight.” Then he rushed into his apartment before the questions came pouring out. 

No worries. There was another day full of memory loss tomorrow. 

Keeping his ear glued to his door, he heard Keith mutter a quiet good night, footsteps going from audible to inaudible. Releasing all the built up tension Lance had inside of him, he let it all out. The darkness was winning, and he hated it, sliding down his door and lowering his head between his knees. 

Tear-drops stained his floor. “Please remember me, tomorrow. Please. I beg of you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Update 12/05/20 (European dates)
> 
> Sorry for not have updating if you've come this far. I am planning on continuing, no despair yet! I'm just trying to wrap my head around finishing off two other fics before I want to commit to continuing this one! 
> 
> But I have not discontinued this fic, I know exactly what's going to happen, it's just the writing part that's hard. ;)


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yikes. Been a hot minute. 
> 
> A couple nights ago, I started feeling the urge to continue this one. Although, my writing isn't as... inspired as it used to be, I'll have to apologize if my writing seems very lacking compared to earlier this year. Corona has done a toll on my writing, and my love for Klance has been slowly and frighteningly evaportating. (Hopefully, it's just a phase)
> 
> A short chapter today, just to get into the groove of things again with this fic. Sorry if it feels fillerish. I promise a more meaty chapter next time. :)

Waking up after crying his eyes out took a small toll on Lance. Specially when he had to peel them open and invite the warm shining sun into his bedroom. Another beautiful, clear day. 

The bed felt soft, mattress sinking with his heavy stature. Maybe if he just laid for a little while longer, the world outside his room would be totally and utterly forgotten. Then him being of the forgotten wouldn’t be much of an issue anymore. 

He groaned, dragging the comforter slowly and woefully off, bare-naked feet hitting the soft carpeted floor. 

Once he felt awake enough he made one quick glance toward the blinds covering his window, beams of blinding sunlight streaming through like a river flow. “Will they remember me today?” he whispered low, to no one in particular, other than the disturbing force that might have created this mass amnesia. 

No one, and nothing answered him. 

As expected. 

Rising up to his tall frame, hands placed on his lower back to do his morning stretches, Lance walked to the warm window, pulling the string on his blinds, their slapping at the top of the window waking him up fully. 

Outside, he saw the world. A world that didn’t care about his inner thoughts. That didn’t care that he was forgotten. That his friends, family and the person he cared for the most, didn’t remember who he was. 

Didn’t remember that he had been a paladin of Voltron, too. 

Alas to them, all he was to them, was Lance McClain. Officer at the Garrison. A boy from Varadero, Cuba, who got into the Galaxy Garrison just like any other kid who dreamed to visit space and fly cool fighter jets, and maybe one day save the universe. All in the end of things, to become a teacher. 

Not stumble upon the happy accident that was Shiro crash-landing in the desert after being lost in space for years.

And Pidge. Smart, talented, Pige; her immaculate, cutting-edge brain of hers discovering the signal and name itself: Voltron. 

All for Lance to plummet into the idea of saving his own hero and legend, Shiro. 

Then crash-land into the one person who would alter his entire life. 

Keith. 

A small, tired sigh broke out of Lance as he kept peering beyond his window, thinking about his first meet with the broody, hot-headed boy. All to the naked eye was just dust, wind and desert. The sun burning the world beyond him. 

Beyond who he really was to them.

Just a sitting duck in the deep, deep dark. 

“Please,” he said, eyes narrowing when a new ray of sunlight stole his vision, “remember me.” 

After he got dressed in his usual uniform, he checked his watch to make sure that he would arrive at the training room before class started. Punctuality being of his own personal essence, wanting to show up a half-hour early to mentally prepare meeting his partner after the evening he had last night. 

His lip dragged slightly to a corner. Keith wanted a date, but Lance knew that wouldn’t be a good idea. A mad, awful idea to be completely honest. 

In retrospect, if he never gained the real Keith back, going on a date with this Keith might not be the end of the world. But still, the sinking, odd feeling pooling around in Lance’s gut told him otherwise. 

Bad idea. 

Very bad. 

The scar scratch vertically across his eye grabbed his attention in the mirror when he did his finishing touches; swirling his fingers through his tousled locks to create a perfect messy do. Looking back to the memory of the scar, he knew that he had to turn Keith down. A date with this Keith would only create of discomfort for Lance. Keith would only remind him of the real Keith, and what happened before he was wiped of their minds. 

Dread started to seep into him the more his booted feet trudged closer and closer to the training room, like heavy anchors had wrapped themselves around the soles of his feet not to keep him grounded but to help his dread sink even deeper. 

For some reason he knew what to anticipate of the day before him. He came prepared for the worst. Sucking in a deep breath, knowing he had cried out his aggravation and fear from being forgotten for more than a few weeks. He could live with being forgotten, but he couldn’t live with the fact that all of his friends and family weren’t actually _his_ friends and family. That perhaps they could be from a shift in realities or that Lance had woken up to become an unimportant part to his loved ones lives. 

A no one. 

Something sparked his fingertips when he touched the metal knob of the door, reminding him of a familiar pang from the first meet with his cadets. Madeline. Red. A roar. 

He still hadn’t been able to locate Red. Which when he woke up today, he had one thing on his internal to-do list: Talk to Madeline about Red. 

Then, evidently, locate him. 

The door whined open, rubbing his fingertips after the soft jolt that sparked him. 

“Lance, hey,” he heard Keith say in a soft tone. 

All of Lance’s nerves spiked, his heart starting to race as if what he came prepared for weren’t necessary after all. 

The tone of Keith’s voice. So habitual, so low and almost like he… dare he think it? Like he remembered him.

Keith was dressed in training gear, black tight sweats with a matching long-sleeved shirt, hair tied up in a low ponytail. Sweat beads glistened from the low lighting in the ceiling, but not an ounce of weariness leaked from him. Tip, top shape. Read to pounce for more it seemed. 

“Finally cared to show up, huh, sleepyhead.” Keith smiled with his eyes shut. 

_Sleepy head?_ Lance tilted his head a fraction, studying the mullet. Guess that put a bold, dead-weighted stopper to his small glimmer of hope. Since when have Keith ever called him that? 

Lance brought his wrist up to his face. “I’m,” He studied the time, “like early by half and hour, Keith. How long have you been here?” 

“Since 0800,” Keith said with a short snicker as if Lance should have known that. 

Well, Keith did like to be alone whenever the opportunity showed itself. Training be one of them. “Join me.” Keith held a gloved hand out to Lance for him to take. 

Reluctantly, Lance stared long and hard at Keith’s forthcoming hand. “And do what?” 

“Train with me, of course.” Another smile bloomed from Keith’s sweaty face, nebulas back to crashing in his starlit eyes. Lance felt judo-flipped already being mauled by the sheer magnetism that were Keith’s dark eyes. “Strip, mister.” 

“‘Scuse me?!” Lance yelped at the order. “I’m sorry, but we still haven’t gone on a second date. You can’t demand any stripping.” 

“Yet?” Keith stuck his tongue out playfully. 

Waves of hot warmth vibrated along Lance’s cheeks. Bringing up the second date debacle that Keith had pestered him with from the night before would only give him false hope. He had to shoot him down, so by doing so, he’d just have to win in a sparring dual before their cadets arrived for morning class.

Shrugging of his dense Officer jacket, Lance said, “Tell you what.” 

Keith angled his head to indicate he was listening, interest piqued, his smile now turned provocative smirk. 

That smirk spelled nothing but trouble, Lance thought, pulling his head back a tick, running his eyes down to Keith’s muscular thighs instead. _Bad idea._

Clearing his throat, and throwing his face away from all of Keith before his thoughts went into other directions, deceiving him most certainly. “Whoever pins the other to the floor gets what they want. You pin me, you get that second date. I pin you-” Lance dragged his head up from the floor to stare Keith down, again eternal space reeling him in the color purple. 

“No date?” Keith cocked a bushy brow up high. 

Lance wanted to smile to unnerve the mullet, but no bait whatsoever. Nothing. Nada. When the words he wanted to say started to roll off his tongue, they began to taste like bile. “No… date,” he assured. 

Sounds of knuckles popping came from his opponent. “Well then,” Keith started, stretching his arms, then settling himself into his stance bent down as if he was going to charge Lance, “I better not lose.” 

Then he charged Lance. 

Both of Lance’s palms shot up, capturing Keith’s thunderous crash. Their fingers interlocked, Keith dragging a leg between Lance’s thighs, a knee slamming into mid-thigh. Lance bit down on his teeth bracing himself from the surprising onslaught of impact that was Keith’s dense bodyweight. 

“Damn…” Lance grounded out, panting to keep Keith away from tricking him to the floor. 

He had to think. What was the best plan to kick Keith down to the floor without him being two steps forward. Keith had always been faster, stronger and better than Lance. In practically everything. Be it during their time at the Garrison before Keith was booted for decking Griffin. Piloting Red. If it hadn’t been for Shiro’s capturing, Keith might have continued piloting Red. 

Though. If it weren’t for Lance convincing Keith to take over Black, they would never have gotten Shiro back. The universe might have become what was now taking over Lance’s life. 

Darkness. 

Wasted, eternal darkness. 

His thoughts roamed on their own in auto-pilot, Lance being shocked off-guard when he felt a foot slicing across his own ankles throwing his back to the floor. Keith’s handsome face stole all of his surroundings once he came to after the fall, blinking himself back to reality. 

“Easy,” Keith said softly, “sounded like a nasty fall. I thought you’d be prepared for the impact, but you sounded like you had the air knocked straight out of you, loverboy.” 

Black, soft hair tumbled out from the band holding it up, tickling Lance’s cheek. It seemed like he had lost the dual, sensing Keith’s gloved hand planted firmly on his chest, keeping him pinned. As Lance stated was the objective of this dual. 

Beautiful. Starking. Everything Lance ever dreamed of, right here,staring him down from a heaven he could only imagine. Had this been the Keith he confessed to, he’d carefully slide a hand around the nape of his neck, dragging him down to meet in the middle. But he knew one thing for sure, that that Keith would have backed away. 

In this moment, though, he knew if he brought both his hands up to this Keith’s cheeks, then started to pull him close, he’d comply almost without a second’s hesitation. Heck, if Lance hadn’t been so rejecting, Keith might have already kissed him by now. 

Specially how Keith was near close to straddling him. 

Lance swallowed, capturing Keith mirroring him. Their breathing had turned abundant, as if someone else was stealing their much needed air. “Lance…?” Keith asked, smacking his lips to a glisten. 

Oh, how red they grew once his tongue glided across them. 

Oh, how Lance wanted nothing but a mere little taste of the unknown. 

Of the boy, the man he had become, who rejected him. 

“Keith,” Lance said through a hoarse whisper. 

He could feel his ducts pricking him, telling him to stand down, to not move forward with his inner desires. That he had to think about the situation he was currently stranded in. That if he allowed Keith to kiss him, this Keith, that going back to normal might not be in the books anymore. 

His hand began moving on its own, his mind having not a single speck of control over it. Keith’s skin was warm, damp. Lance’s breath dragged out raggedly at the touch, his heart skipping a single beat. 

Mouth slightly ajared, Lance had to tell Keith. He had to. 

But he smelled so good. Exactly the same on the day he was going to confess to him, however now it was mingled with sweat and temptation. Creeping into every space available in Lance’s darkened memory. 

“Lance, do I get that second date?” Keith asked nicely, his smile so infectious, so gracious, Lance’s soul was lost from the surface of the Earth at the moment. 

With the pricking still reminding him, he bit into his bottom lip, contemplation bearing nothing but the burden of time. 

“Rematch,” Lance answered quickly, but Keith was too busy nearing his lips with eyes closed to Lance’s steamed face. “Keith? What are you…” But he quieted, closing his own eyes. 

The door burst open with a force, screaming and arguing in large numbers piling in. Both of Lance’s hands went to Keith’s chest, shoving him away from what could have been his ticket to never gaining their memories back. 

They both laid on the floor, ignoring the parade that barged in recently, breathing heavily and staring at each other most likely thinking about what almost happened between them. It was hard to read Keith’s expression, but since nothing connected, he was supposedly disappointed. Yet, those red lips remained curled. 

He slapped Lance’s chest, right where his beating heart lie. “Rematch,” Keith complied, have heard what came spluttered out from a pinned, flustered Lance, “tonight. And when I win then-” Keith didn’t finish his sentence, but the look in his eyes once he closed his mouth was implicating enough. 

A second date would be on the menu, whether Lance liked it or not.


End file.
